The early 2000s were just that grand.

At the dawn of the new century, when we all realized Y2K was never happening, things were full of promise. Here we were riding the wave of the DOTCOM boom. Yahoo! seemed unstoppable and Silicon Valley was the place to go. CRASH. oops. well, at least we have cell phones now.

CELL PHONES

Jennifer Aniston had one obviously. Were the rest of us really ever that lucky? Do you remember how DVDs conquered VCRs in the early 2000s? me too, but at home I still have a VCR and my mom uses it for her aerobic tapes.

and little did the CD know it would be its grand last stand! HI IPOD

electronica was really big in the early 2000s, as were the ending of beloved teenage- what would you call them!- dramedies. Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. WAIT SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR IS TRYING TO HAVE A COMEBACK WHAT YEAR IS THIS

1996?

9/11 happened and changed everything for a while. By a while I mean "The Bush administration." Bringing up my mom again, because she's a cool lady, she told me to make sure I don't go out on public on the upcoming 10th anniversary. to which I responded "I spend most of my time in Brooklyn. No one will bother Sheepshead and Williamsburg will be attacked if only ironically."

here's some good electronica from the early 2000s to make this post less depressing now:

they are reuniting btw

I PICK UP MY FRIENDS AND WE START TO RIDE

anyway, puffy vests were the thing for a while. so were stupid low-brow romantic comedies. Varsity Blues came out in the 1990s, I know, but that was still a thing when I was growing up. which I like to think of as "the cusp of the virgin century." ha! virgin. yeah those kind of movies were epidemic.

maybe not on dogs, but middle school kids? YEAH SHIT SON. By the way, this company somehow "ethical" in its name. lolz.

Terrorist groups got really popular! Do you think terrorists like Varsity Blues and Dawson's Creek? OF COURSE. James Van Der Beek's forehead has powers!

man of the decade easily:

second man of the decade:

NO MR. ROGERS IS MAN OF THE CENTURY

he died in 2003 and more people could afford to be like him in this world!

sitcoms, the cream of the crop of the 90s, became stale oatmeal when the 2000s came around and reality TV got really, really bloated. which is sad and I'm not going to discuss it anymore. THE ONLY REALITY TV WORTH WATCHING EITHER INVOLVES CELEBRITIES GOING TO SHIT OR BRAVO.

Clay Aiken had a career for a year. was good while it lasted.

SOCIAL MEDIA TOOK OFF IN THE 2000s. first it was myspace (no one uses this) then Facebook and Twitter and now Google + which I still don't get why are there so many circles??? I feel like a dog or someone who is colorblind!

SOCIAL MEDIA? UGG BOOTS? RASHIDA JONES?

The 2000s were like the 1990s' sloppy hangover, but by 2009 things were cool and now I don't know about anything. STAY CLEAR OF POLITICS AND ECONOMIC NEWS MY FRIENDS, BE LIKE ME AND KEEP YOUR MONEY IN AN ACCOUNT YOU NEVER TOUCH. or a mattress. or Freddie Prinze Jr's house.

"you're not an asshole, Mark!"

question: best moment of this past NOUGHTIES? I think someone else may have done the 2000s already, but I haven't had a chance to do anything in regards to this week via having a full-time job that scares me to death.

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist. "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members or stress over where to eat Christmas dinner. Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

The Useless Critic 2.0

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