Things I Didn't Think I'd Have To Say

While you and your husband seem like a nice couple, I don't want to partake in what you do with each other on a carnal level.

this post is dedicated to Kim and Natalie Wood. Doesn't she look like Mila Kunis there?

Nope, don't see me in there. Nope.

I used to think these invitations were hil-AR-ious. Like, do they not realize I'm the most awkward person on the planet and it would just be uncomfortable for all involved? Like a raft ride at an amusement park?

I suppose these something-something-something amorous couple think all not-heterosexual girls are wishing to um, join in on their fun and essentially play as a pincushion. Well, I am sure girls like that exist, but I am not one. Nope. Not me.

By the way, why does the term "PILLOW PRINCESS" exist?

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for progress and sexual liberation; I just wish I wasn't asked on a weekly basis to do these things. Like, really? I'm on a dating site, NOT adult friend finder.

Like, here's a month of messages I get:

Week 1: My husband and me, you know, we can share you and stuff.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Week 2: My boyfriend wants to spice things up.

Cool, go to Chipotle.

Week 3: You seem cute, HE CAN JUST WATCH.

Nope. Do I look like some kind of fetishist slut? It must be the glasses.

Week 4: What are you looking for? We're a very hot couple.

Note- I filled out the "what I am looking for" section.

So.........in closing, please leave me alone, threesome-seeking couples. I am not impressed and a little disturbed. Also, Craiglist casual encounters seems, um. Like it works?

???? Cara, you can elaborate.

Although, I would consider having a threesome with these two:

not even kidding.

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist. "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members or stress over where to eat Christmas dinner. Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

The Useless Critic 2.0

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