Skip to main content

Dudes and Being Direct



I have gotten into this habit as of late, when it comes to guys and dating, of being very direct. 


Guy: Would you like to hang out sometime?

Me: Hang out as platonic friends? Or like romantically hang out? Because no to either.


Clean. Clear. Humorous in retrospect. 




I find this to be the very best strategy for avoiding awkward situations, and guys, I am not interested in. When I was younger I had this tendency to hang out with a dude even if I found no romantic interest him. A lot of times I found some aspect of them interesting and wanted a friendship. If he would ask me out I would dance around the issue, making excuses, or suggesting that we bring others to make it a group function of sorts. All of that was fine and good for a while but it was only prolonging the inevitable. And then there was always that awkward conversation… 


Guy: So I just really want you to know, I like you a lot.

Me: Like as a friend like?

Guy: No.

Me: Uhhhh, I don’t feel that way. 


Screaming tires. Busting glass. (Shout out Pearl Jam) HURT FEELINGS. Backlash. 


It was always awkward and terrible and I would be accused of “leading [a guy] on.” I didn’t see it then, but I get it now. They felt as though they invested time and effort into a potential romance and therefore felt cheated when feelings weren’t mutual. Sometimes after the inevitable conversation these dudes would drop off the face of the earth never to be seen or heard from again, at least from my friends and my perspective. Other times they would hang around for a while and attempt a friendship, but without the promise of something more these “friendships” would often fizzle and die. 


I don’t do that shit anymore. 



I have to mention this was after a poignant conversation in which I mentioned that I was not looking for a relationship.  AND another one a week later in which the individual asked me out and I said, literally, “I am not interested.” 


More often than not this response is met with  AGAIN, an awkward moment but it is short lived. No one gets their feelings hurt. Things are made very clear. And not one wastes their time. 


Every once in a while though I get some sort of backlash. Someone calling me a name or asking some sort of explanation.


Fun fact: I am not required to provide some sort of explanation as to why I am not interested in you. I have given you the courtesy of a very straight forward answer and am not required to elaborate. 


In a bar it’s easy enough, lots of random people, a crowd to get lost in AND alcohol to keep spirits high in the wake of a rejection. One gentleman, upon hearing my response, nodded his head backed away and we both went on our merry ways. 

Ipso Fucking Facto, 

peace out bro, have a great life. But it’s not always so simple. I find a lot of the backlash comes in private conversation and mostly behind the comfort of a keyboard. 


I’ve been called a bitch before and this just baffles me. A simple straight forward answer on my part merits a derogatory utterance from you? Really? Do you realize the only way in this scenario I would not be a bitch would be to accept your advances? Faced with that choice I’ll be a BITCH all day. 


 
Am I 



 Right



Ladies?

SHRUG


Maybe a lot of this comes off as callous and that’s not my intention.  My “Nope” comment listed above, as I said, came after multiple no-bull-shit answers from me. The person was sore about it but finally backed off. I look at it like this. If you don’t know me well enough to realize that the flippant “nope” response was just how I am, just how I act, and just how I talk IRL, than you don’t know my personality well enough to ask me out in the first place. 



Comments

  1. So good! People are only obligated to say no, not to hold your hand through life and tell you how special you are when they feel about as much interest in you as for a sewer grate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone is probably into sewer grates out there :P

      Delete
    2. sewer grate erotica: the final frontier

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

Appropriate Holiday Gift Ideas for the Single Lady

While some people may see it as a drag, there are plenty of benefits to being single during the holiday season. During this time of the year, there are tons of parties you can attend that you may not have had the opportunity to if you were in a relationship. There’s also not as much stress on you as a single gal during the holidays because you don’t have to shop for your partner and extended family members  or  stress over where to eat Christmas dinner.  Not everyone sees the bright side of being fancy free during the holidays, and, tragically, they aren't afraid to let us single ladies know. Not only are single women subjected to even more harassment and ridicule during the holiday season, they’re also given the most obnoxious gifts by those who can’t comprehend how anyone can be both happy and single. Whether it’s a self-help book (desperately) trying to reinforce how great is to be single or the gift of a year-long subscription to Match.com , single women are presented with

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it