The Useless Critic 2.0

I do not read romance novels. Well, okay, that's a lie. I don't read romances intentionally . I don't go out and buy a book just because it's a romance. Often a book will have some sort of romance develop. Sometimes books will be located in the Horror or Fantasy sections of the bookstore and will include more sex than plot. (Laurell K. Hamilton, I'm looking at you.) One of my college roommates had a somewhat disturbing obsession with the genre, and I would go in and borrow one (of hundreds) when I had nothing else to read. But beyond that, I don't read 'em. Here's an exception: 2009 is Harlequin's 60th anniversary of publishing cheap and tawdry romances. To celebrate, they're releasing 16 free ebooks (in various formats, including PDF files) on the website Harlequin Celebrates . It's free, people! And it's 16 books! It takes me about a week to read that many. How could I possibly pass up something like that? How could you ? My point is, i...

we can be sure he's DJing in the great gig in the sky now. really sad story though. he seemed like he had his life together again. :(

You've probably heard of Colbie Callait--- her new album "Breakthrough" was released last Tuesday. You know how some artists have their own sound that seems to transcend over their albums? Colbie is one of those artists and, frankly, I like it. She has a pop/acoustic sound that just simply relaxes you. I'm not going to lie though, I'm preatty sure you need ovaries to really love this music. If you're a girl, I'd recommend that you check out her two albums "CoCo" and "Breakthrough".

So who has made the biggest impact with their low voice??? And the nominees are……………… Ethan Peck: Currently playing Patrick Verona on ABC Family’s “Ten Things.” I would describe his voice as a tooting foghorn after somebody pissed in it. Props to his show for coining the name of the award. Steven Wright: The comedian with a career spanning 3 decades, I love his stuff. His voice is like a backseat driver on the verge of laryngitis. Great one-liners. Stephin Merritt: The second of my 3 role models, and the singer of bands such as The Magnetic Fields and The Gothic Archies. His voice brings some people down, but he brings me up, up, up. Phil Anselmo: The legendary vocalist behind musical groups such as Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, and Down. Is it weird that Down is my top pick out of those three bands? His voice is dark and scratchy. And the Winner is………………..[Insert Drumroll] JK SIMMONS: Superstar Actor known as Jonah in “Spiderman”, Dr. Emil Skoda on “Law and Order” (SVU and Original). A...

I'm not a big fan of folk music, but "Reservoir Park" by The Dutchess and the Duke has been on repeat all day. I like other songs by the band (I recommend "Strangers," "I Am Just A Ghost," and "Mary" - the latter of which has a very, ah, interesting music video. Watch it here .), but there's just something about "Reservoir Park" that really clicks with me. It's an interesting song; it's your typical lo-fi indie folk music with a male/female singing duo. The band reminds me of the Mamas and the Papas; both bands have a similar sound and this song in particular works perfectly when placed in a '60s context. Or something. I may be full of shit, but that's how I feel. Well I went to see the gypsy to have my fortune told. She said, "You ain't got no future, you ain't never growing old." And the clouds keep rolling on in. Questions: What are your favorite folk bands? Do you have any specific songs ...

I will confess, the first time heard the new Heidi Montag song (Body Language)…I thought. “Hmm, that actually isn’t so bad.” The second time I heard it, I closely paid attention to the lyrics, and I heard words like this… “Boy whatcha waiting for Come and take control over me me Show authority If your in it for real Go ahead put it on me -------- That’s what she said! I know that you want me So take me Let me follow your lead Baby come on control me Come over take on me Take me” This is CANINE FECAL MATTER!! So I won’t make you read anymore. I mean I know I shouldn’t expect much from las cheapass pop stars, and especially not much from someone who was on “Da Hillz,” but I didn’t imagine it would be this lousy. I mean all this song does is turn Heidi M into the poster wife for being an "AirHead" who’s full of shit from the neck down. Basically, this song sounds like she’s turning herself into a domestic fuck-puppet for her hubby who RAPS in part it! And if you’ve ever heard ...

seeing this band play at the Warhol: I don't usually see bands this hip. I'm shitting myself. how do I dress??? LIKE A FUCKING HIPSTER? they're all going to judge me and write on their blogs about me! oh, wait... but yeah, I went to go see Deerhunter a while ago and I panicked because there were too many hipsters. I skipped the show because of it :( - Brittany