The Useless Critic 2.0

Yesterday, I came across an article lamenting the lack of a true summer anthem for 2015 . Truth be told, I live in a radio-free bubble where I have the luxury to totally ignore top 40. Unless something unusually good climbs across my radar, I gleefully ignore whatever is exceedingly popular at the moment. Sometimes I have the misfortune of hearing the obnoxious opium of the masses while I'm on an Uber or when I'm out, but 9 out of 10 times I can live my life in my Internet radio-dominated bliss.  I was sort of taken aback, because the writer's totally correct: We haven't had a "Blurred Lines" or "Fancy" this year. I mean, of course Lana has the goods, but you won't hear them on the radio (unless it's that sped-up "Summertime Sadness" remix....bleh).  At first, I thought maybe the summer song was "Bad Blood?" I mean, all that hype about that video: I didn't even know that video had a plot until I read reviews ...

Just some quick updates before the weekend comes to a halt- 1.) Ryan Adams has announced he's covering all of Taylor Swift's "1989" album. "1989" is pretty much the best pop album of the decade. Let's not try to deny that, okay? It's a good album. It took me forever to listen to it (no offense to Taylor, I had some emotional baggage at the time) but once I did, WOW. Ryan? Ryan is one of the best singer-songwriters of his generation. And he can do a powerful cover: To add sprinkles on top of that sundae of awesomeness, he also is doing it IN THE STYLE OF THE SMITHS. Like, let that one sink in for a while. *fans self* 2.) Taylor Swift's next single off "1989" will be "Wildest Dreams." Not a bad pick, IMO, but a little too Lana-esque for me. God, I see Lana in everything. I'm like one of those people who see images of Tom Selleck in Cheetos. I'd link you to a video, but it's not out yet, so here's ...

So, some backstory on this, because I'm really not a Lucille Ball fan. I know, that's nearly blasphemous. I appreciate her and I think she was a groundbreaking comedienne, but I just never grew up on her like some people did. All that aside, I'd definitely say I can enjoy her work.  This is like my face, right? I had this dream last week that I did a "100 Women of Comedy" series for the blog. When I woke up, I actually had a list pretty well-formulated, trying to determine where to put Margaret Cho, Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Gilda Radner, etc. I thought about this for a while - it's weird, I never get inspiration from my dreams, but now I've been getting a LOT of ideas from my dreams, thx subconscious - and I was like, "Well, I guess I can give it a shot." Then, I saw today was Lucille Ball's birthday, so what the hey, you know. The universe can be pretty persistent with its poking. Anyway, Lucille "I Love Lucy...

So there has been a new Beach House album for approximately a month, and the Useless Critic has not released statements on it. That is now about to change. So, "Sparks." It's pretty fuzzy and lo-fi-esque. Not that Beach House isn't known for being somewhat that way, but this seems like a step up from where they have previously been. It certainly has some shoegaze elements as well. I think it's a natural progression from 2012's "Bloom."  Halfway through the song, it seems to pick up and find its footing. At first, it's not the easiest song to warm up to. But, still. It left me curious as to what "Depression Cherry" (such an appropriate title!) will sound like. In short: Less dreampop, more shoegaze/lo-fi. Not a stunner, but something of a grower. Yay "Depression Cherry." Sounds like a Popsicle flavor. 

Foo Fighters have never been one of my favorite bands. Actually, I think there were when I was like 7 0r 8. That's because of the UFO connections with their name. You don't know what I'm talking about?!?!? WIKIPEDIA IT. Although, let's concede, early-era Foo Fighters have some crazy good tracks: I bought the Foo Fighters album with the neck tattoo on the cover when I was 14. I didn't listen to it much and gave it to my brother. Kind of how I felt when I sold my copy of Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American" and the record store clerk was like OMG I LOVE JIMMY EAT WORLD. Anyway, Dave Grohl broke his LEG earlier this summer and because he's a badass, troopered through the show he was playing. It cost him a leading spot at Glastonbury, which was inherited by Florence and the Machine. She did a really kickass cover of the ubiquitous-in-2000s "Times Like These," which Grohl recently admitted moved him to tears. D'awwww. ...

Hello ?! Today is the 20th anniversary of one of the most important, iconic, and quotable movies ever! So, OK, I'm, like, totally buggin'!! Not to sound like some pretentious hipster or anything, but I've been a fan of Clueless waaay before Tumblr began revisiting it some 3 years ago. I was 5 when the movie was released, but it wasn't until I was probably 8 or 9 that I became totally obsessed with it. Back then, Cher Horowitz was my ultimate role model. I kept hoping someone would refer to me as the most beautiful girl in Beverly Hills—even though I didn't live in Beverly Hills. I would often try to incorporate quotes from the movie into everyday conversations (so that's where my pop-culture obsession began). Oh, I just loved to describe people as "full-on Monets." Long before wanting a friendship like that of Gossip Girl 's Blair and Serena , I aspired to have a friendship like Cher and Dionne's, so we could be the most popular gir...

There is a new LDR track in town. A ballad, that is. And many people are claiming it is her best - absolute best, creme de la creme - to date. It's fantastically noir-ish, fantastically melodramatic, fantastically wistful - the qualities I have come to adore the most about today's most off-kilter pop star. It's easy to imagine Bette Davis - pre-"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" Bette Davis, because let's not kid ourselves here - driving around the Californian shore at sunset and smoking a long cigarette (probably one in a holder, a la Cruella DeVille) and mourning over losing Gary Cooper. I don't even know if they were an item, but let's pretend they were. And keep in mind, in this mental image, Bette Davis still has it all. NO "BABY JANE." I wouldn't say this ballad is as good as "Born to Die" or "Young and Beautiful," but it's still haunting and it's still exquisite. Probably would put it on her top ...