Skip to main content

5 Reasons why the Useless Critic is Better than Time Magazine

The Useless Critic does not

1. Exploit the Muslims and the Jews.

2. Show awkward photos of poor people in Louisiana.

3. Complain in a non-enjoyable way.

4. Focus gratuitously on sadness.

5. Give advice on shopping (and only promote those darn Sony products.)

Two Reasons Why TIME is better than the Useless Critic.

TIME has

1. Fancy Red Type.

2. Joel Stein.

QATFYG:

Are you a fan of TIME?

Comments

  1. I haven't read this magazine since Joel Osteen got born again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. word,

    Joel Osteen might be on the edge,
    but he is super popular among people that I see on the infomercials.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm posting a relevant youtube link, for lols!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TT81o4hL4c

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just watched Matthew's link on Time Advanced (from The Onion wink)

    I wonder if a magazine called Time Advanced would feature adds mostly by Rolex.

    Get it? Time Advanced? Rolex? Anybody?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right.  Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th

"Happy New Year"- Let's Eat Grandma

There's no way to start the New Year like some extremely upbeat music about the New Year! That's where this new synthpop-heavy single from the British duo Let's Eat Grandma comes into play. It's a delightful song, and it helps increase any excitement about their third album, "Two Ribbons," which will be out this April. I personally am looking forward to hearing more from Let's Eat Grandma, who deserve way more attention than they currently get. Hopefully, 2022 will be a big year for them. Here's one of their older tracks I quite like: