An interview with a person that I know.
Palin's new face.
OBSERVE:
1.) TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF, JESSICA.
2.) What's going on in your life, as of the moment?
QUITE A BIT ACTUALLY. Ah, I'm in the process of moving to a new house, applying to college, and training for a new "real" job, which will most likely prove to be interesting. I have a difficult time remembering to keep my breasts inside my shirt. I'm also raising an amazing kid (she really is amazing - she likes to sing Katy Perry songs and hold complex conversations with my dogs in woofs. She also dances whenever she hears Cee Lo Green and she responds to the name Little Ninja Monster of Doom.) I'm also reading voraciously, unfortunately nothing of much substance, just hilariously bad young adult fiction while I try to resuscitate my writing ability. I also have lots of sex.
3.) What's the weirdest thing that has happened to you?
That's a good question. Whenever I think my life has become boring, I find myself exchanging stories with people and realize I've actually done and continue to do some pretty awesome things. I used to have an old guy who followed me from club to club and paid me to crush his nether parts with my heels. Apparently I am a natural at ball crushing and a Goddess.. Obviously I list this under special skills on all my resumes. I also convinced a customer that my father was Steven Seagal, who impregnated my mother, a Russian ballerina who was an extra on the set of Out to Kill. However, since I was illegitimate and he had a wife at the time, we never fully formed a relationship. He does send me cases of his energy drink and signed copies of his DVD every year on his birthday though. The guy wound up giving me all his money because Steven Seagal is his favorite actor and I was the amazing daughter of "THE MAN." I am also wonderful to have around at dinner parties because I have way more stories to tell. <- this is so true
4.) What are some common misconceptions of being a stripper?
I know the majority of people hold the belief that strippers are lazy, whores, drug abusers, etc. While there are girls who fit this bill, there are also others who are wonderful women, attempting to support their kids, put themselves through school, and just make a life for themselves in a way that's a bit different from the norm. Some of the most intelligent people I have met have been in strip clubs. I have met some of my best friends dancing in clubs. While there's always going to be dancers who adhere to the common stereotype of the stripper, there really are some of us who have more to them than you think.
5.) What's your favorite part of your job?
Honestly, I love dancing. I love being able to express myself through dance and have had the pleasure of working with DJs who would rather play me Metric and TV on the Radio than some banal pop song. I've also met some fascinating people through my job that I wouldn't have come into contact with otherwise. People who are on the edges or outskirts of things are just that much more fun.
6.) In 2012, where do you hope to be?
RAPTURED. Or Charlie Sheen's assistant.
7.) What's the most unnecessary state?
Arkansas. I mean, really.
8.) Where were you when Osama supposedly died?
Making meth and grenades in my garage while watching the Jenna Haze collection. Same thing Osama was doing.
9.) ANY PARTING WORDS?
I am chuffed to bits by your badonkadonk.
:O
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