Once in Philadelphia, I met up with the lovely girl from couchsurfing that became my angel over the next 12 hours. I'm not exaggerating. Please let me illustrate:
girl: you must be Brittany!
me: yup! thanks for meeting me here!
girl: what were you planning to do tonight?
me: sleep in the bus station, duh.
girl: let's go ask a security officer what you should do.
me: OK!
*we venture off to find a popo officer; a man of the law*
officer: YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STAY HERE OVERNIGHT. YOU WILL EITHER BE RAPED OR ROBBED AND I DON'T WANT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT.
me: *shits self*
luckily, this insanely beautiful inside/outside girl took me back to her place across the city in a scary scary scary ghetto. I mean, someone on that street had a brother that was murdered, and the whole house was covered in pictures of him and like AVENGE HIS DEATH BROTHER WE WILL NEVER FORGET.
this girl was really into couchsurfing, btw. the whole purpose of her house was to be like, a couchsurfing hotel. apparently she had an English dude with her, too. but I never saw him. oh man, this girl was amazing. she talked to me before we "slept" (I couldn't sleep) about couchsurfing throughout North and South America. I promised to hook her up if she ever came to Erie. She was like "what's there" and I was honest and said "nothing."
...
I did not sleep that night because all I could hear was loud Spanish being spoken and gunshots. like "Feliz Navidad!" bang bang bang "Feliz Navidad!" bang bang bang. I just sat on the couch and contemplated a lot.
then, at like 4 am, I took the Philadelphia train system back to the station, where I then had to find the correct megabus stop. I had no inkling of a clue where to go, because the station was closed and I knew you had to look for the blue megabus signs to get anywhere.
I did the smart thing and then asked a creepy-looking old man if I was in the right area for the megabus. Did he know what megabus was? Hell no. Did he try to lead me down a dark alley? YES.
So then I started to cry and began brandishing my mace and saying this really loud to scare off any other potential creepers.
fortunately, an Asian mother and daughter combo alerted me to the fact I was in the right spot. PHEW. The Baltimore busride was uneventful and long, but the sun coming up over the water was a beautiful sight. Really beautiful.
Step 2: Baltimore
Once I was there, I had to figure out how to get to Johns Hopkins, where I was staying with mah gurl Wenli for the night. And I'd never visited any of my friends at their respective schools before, so this was a pretty cool way to kill two birds with one stone. However, wherever the fuck Megabus dumps you in Baltimore is pretty far from JHU.
Step 3: Find Wenli
So I ended up hopelessly lost in the AREA OF THE BALTIMORE CITY WHERE PEOPLE ARE KILLED ALL THE TIME. I mean it was like the Wire area. yeah! and I'm a harmless white girl! with a suitcase on wheels! I might as well have had a sign pinned to me that said "PLEASE RAPE AND KILL ME AND USE MY SUITCASE FOR WHATEVER SICK DEVIOUS SEXUAL PURPOSES YOU CAN IMAGINE."
Wenli told me later it was incredible I was able to walk from there to JHU (which has a Ruby Tuesday on campus. WHO DOES THAT) fine. And I think it was only because it was like 10 AM and weirdly no one was out. No one. I went to a church to ask for directions- I feel like churches are safe bets in these situations- AND THEY WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME IN. There were bars on the windows of everything! EVERYTHING!
Step 4: To Fly on September 11th
I hung out with Wenli and explored JHU, which was so cool, because JHU (unlikeEdinboro) is a really NICE school. everything's beautiful and old and regal and shit. I was in awe! I spent one of Wenli's classes exploring the English department and stealing all these pamphlets and brochures and knowing I would never be worthy.
The next day was 9/11. TIME TO FLY TO STOCKHOLM!
conversation overheard at bank pre-leaving:
WOMAN: I'M HAVING A TERRORIST PARTY TONIGHT
WOMAN: WE'RE ALL DRESSING UP LIKE TERRORISTS
WOMAN: IT WILL BE GREAT I HAVE CAVIAR I'M DRESSING LIKE A TERRORIST HO HO HO
keep in mind this woman was like a late forties college professor, too. nouveau rich my ass!
question: sometimes do the things I say only make sense to me?
girl: you must be Brittany!
me: yup! thanks for meeting me here!
girl: what were you planning to do tonight?
me: sleep in the bus station, duh.
girl: let's go ask a security officer what you should do.
me: OK!
*we venture off to find a popo officer; a man of the law*
officer: YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STAY HERE OVERNIGHT. YOU WILL EITHER BE RAPED OR ROBBED AND I DON'T WANT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT.
me: *shits self*
luckily, this insanely beautiful inside/outside girl took me back to her place across the city in a scary scary scary ghetto. I mean, someone on that street had a brother that was murdered, and the whole house was covered in pictures of him and like AVENGE HIS DEATH BROTHER WE WILL NEVER FORGET.
this girl was really into couchsurfing, btw. the whole purpose of her house was to be like, a couchsurfing hotel. apparently she had an English dude with her, too. but I never saw him. oh man, this girl was amazing. she talked to me before we "slept" (I couldn't sleep) about couchsurfing throughout North and South America. I promised to hook her up if she ever came to Erie. She was like "what's there" and I was honest and said "nothing."
...
I did not sleep that night because all I could hear was loud Spanish being spoken and gunshots. like "Feliz Navidad!" bang bang bang "Feliz Navidad!" bang bang bang. I just sat on the couch and contemplated a lot.
then, at like 4 am, I took the Philadelphia train system back to the station, where I then had to find the correct megabus stop. I had no inkling of a clue where to go, because the station was closed and I knew you had to look for the blue megabus signs to get anywhere.
I did the smart thing and then asked a creepy-looking old man if I was in the right area for the megabus. Did he know what megabus was? Hell no. Did he try to lead me down a dark alley? YES.
So then I started to cry and began brandishing my mace and saying this really loud to scare off any other potential creepers.
fortunately, an Asian mother and daughter combo alerted me to the fact I was in the right spot. PHEW. The Baltimore busride was uneventful and long, but the sun coming up over the water was a beautiful sight. Really beautiful.
Step 2: Baltimore
Once I was there, I had to figure out how to get to Johns Hopkins, where I was staying with mah gurl Wenli for the night. And I'd never visited any of my friends at their respective schools before, so this was a pretty cool way to kill two birds with one stone. However, wherever the fuck Megabus dumps you in Baltimore is pretty far from JHU.
Step 3: Find Wenli
So I ended up hopelessly lost in the AREA OF THE BALTIMORE CITY WHERE PEOPLE ARE KILLED ALL THE TIME. I mean it was like the Wire area. yeah! and I'm a harmless white girl! with a suitcase on wheels! I might as well have had a sign pinned to me that said "PLEASE RAPE AND KILL ME AND USE MY SUITCASE FOR WHATEVER SICK DEVIOUS SEXUAL PURPOSES YOU CAN IMAGINE."
Wenli told me later it was incredible I was able to walk from there to JHU (which has a Ruby Tuesday on campus. WHO DOES THAT) fine. And I think it was only because it was like 10 AM and weirdly no one was out. No one. I went to a church to ask for directions- I feel like churches are safe bets in these situations- AND THEY WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME IN. There were bars on the windows of everything! EVERYTHING!
Step 4: To Fly on September 11th
I hung out with Wenli and explored JHU, which was so cool, because JHU (unlikeEdinboro) is a really NICE school. everything's beautiful and old and regal and shit. I was in awe! I spent one of Wenli's classes exploring the English department and stealing all these pamphlets and brochures and knowing I would never be worthy.
The next day was 9/11. TIME TO FLY TO STOCKHOLM!
conversation overheard at bank pre-leaving:
WOMAN: I'M HAVING A TERRORIST PARTY TONIGHT
WOMAN: WE'RE ALL DRESSING UP LIKE TERRORISTS
WOMAN: IT WILL BE GREAT I HAVE CAVIAR I'M DRESSING LIKE A TERRORIST HO HO HO
keep in mind this woman was like a late forties college professor, too. nouveau rich my ass!
question: sometimes do the things I say only make sense to me?
terrorist party?
ReplyDeletetack tack tacky
right! I thought so.
ReplyDelete