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Open Letter To Angelina Jolie

Dear Angelina, hey girl, I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I know you just got finished making your next big movie and I think that's cool because it's about Bosnia and you directed it then you wrote it. so you are much more than Mrs. Smith and I respect that. but what's this I hear about you not having any friends? That Brad Pitt is your only friend? WHATTT. girl! that's not 
normal or healthy. YOU NEED SOME FRIENDS. 


how do I recommend you go about finding friends, Angelina? well like I'm not too busy right now, so you could always call me. I'd leave my number here....but that's not so safe is it? yeah I thought so. crazies are drawn to me. I don't need to dwell on it. 


why don't you join a meet-up? you could find one for power couples. or you could find one for people unusually invested in third world aid. or one for chess because you seem like the type that would like chess, lady. 


better yet, why don't you friend some celebrities that aren't as shallow as say, um, a Kardashian? 


like CHELSEA CLINTON
or CHARLIZE THERON
or better yet, ME. 


FOOD FOR THOUGHT, ANGELINA. people care about you!!!!


love, Brittany, who looks forward to using a Chat Pack at our next dinner party.

Comments

  1. Angelina, needs friends?
    Well, I know two people that might go well.

    One is me.
    The other is in my pocket.

    I am such a creep.

    -Not Nader

    ReplyDelete

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