Skip to main content

A Useless Open Letter: Parminder Nagra



Dear Parminder Nagra,

Hey, what’s cooking?
Well, I guess yesterday we learned that there is a hotter Indian than you on the face of the Earth named Rani Mukerji. I hope that you are not offended because we all know your secret anyway. You are British. After all, you did pretend to make out with Keira Knightly once.

Anyway, enough of those wet dreams, the real reason I am writing to you is, my friend Brittany finds you really cute. Even I have to confess, I'd take you over John Stamos. In fact, she said you were hotter than all the actresses of Bollywood. She may have just been trying to get me to shut up, but who cares? Someone called you the hottest Indian person alive! Isn’t that worth celebrating?

Congrats to you. Furthermore, I believe I read on Wikipedia that you are married, and I am not the biggest fan of hot actresses getting married, so if you ever happen to have a mental break in life and give up acting and run away with strangers you meet on the internet, I’ve got a Geo Prism that has your name on it in the backseat. (I hope that statement doesn’t need clarification, but if so do you know phrase Shaggin in the Wagon?), and you can choose between my friend or me for…well having your way with and what not.

I'm docile, and she's creative.

Sincerely,

Any Man Alive

PS: I miss "ER" because of you. You kicked George Clooney's ass.

Comments

  1. I am really creative, Parminder. and softskinned. it's your call bb. (thanks Al! <3)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I'm docile. I'll do anything you want.
    Esp if you call me names.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th