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Kingdom Hospital: Africa

Hello world within The UCverse.
Finally, after days upon days, illness and epidemic have left my village in Africa, and as the African proverb reads. “I’m thankful that I am not those other starving bastards.”

After encountering the truest of jungle fevers, I had the fortune to visit my first third world hospital since my birth. It wasn’t the amount of dirt on the floors that put me off, and it wasn’t the obvious stains and remnants of blood, urine, and someone elses hair in the hospital bed that made me dislike my experience.

It was the nurse. So attractive. Such a Bitch.

However, one can learn that there is always opportunity coming from misfortune. It makes me remember the line from The Devil Wears Prada,

“I am one stomach flu away from my ideal weight.”

Those are sad but fabulous facts of life. Right now my body has withered away to something like Christian Bale in the “The Machinist,” but in all seriousness when I look in the mirror I see something that resembles a cross between The Situation and Vinny (imagine that).

Other positives were now knowing that I have survived a more disgusting endeavor than anything seen on Fear Factor, but since this is Africa, there will certainly be no cash prize in the end.

The worst part is I actually want to go back and find that nurse :

Africa only has so many options :P

Questions for You:
If you HAD to pick one place in Africa, where would you go? (obligatory)
What is your most positive hospital experience? (for a change)
Overall: what do you think of nurses? (hot or not? You decide).
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Comments

  1. Britt KempApril 27, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    um, Egypt or South Africa. I would have at one time gladly had mono to lose weight and you quoted the Devil Wears Prada which is awe-some. My mom is a nurse, so that's Freudian territory, chief!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AWApril 27, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    I would like to go to the specific spot that you were at and find that nurse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AWApril 27, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    Also, WHY have you blacked out certain portions of the dark continent? Is this some alternative plague-ridden future?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Britt KempApril 28, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    ANSWERS AL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ned UsaApril 28, 2012 at 2:48 PM

    wasn't me. they blacked themselves out...

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 29, 2012 at 5:47 PM

    Egypt/South Africa

    Had heart surgery and DIDN'T die

    I know a lot of nurses personally and they don't do anything for me sexually, but some of them have really great/sick senses of humour. Also, because they've experienced a lot of disgusting things, never let them know you're in any way squeamish or they'll torture you with their stories. New Drs and EMTs are where it's at for me.

    ReplyDelete

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