Finally, after days upon days, illness and epidemic have
left my village in Africa, and as the African proverb reads. “I’m thankful that
I am not those other starving bastards.”
After encountering the truest of jungle fevers, I had the
fortune to visit my first third world hospital since my birth. It wasn’t the
amount of dirt on the floors that put me off, and it wasn’t the obvious stains and
remnants of blood, urine, and someone elses hair in the hospital bed that made
me dislike my experience.
It was the nurse. So attractive. Such a Bitch.
However, one can learn that there is always opportunity coming
from misfortune. It makes me remember the line from The Devil Wears Prada,
“I am one stomach flu away from my ideal weight.”
Those are sad but fabulous facts of life. Right now my body has withered away to something like Christian Bale in the “The Machinist,”
but in all seriousness when I look in the mirror I see something that resembles
a cross between The Situation and Vinny (imagine that).
Other positives were now knowing that I have survived a more
disgusting endeavor than anything seen on Fear Factor, but since this is
Africa, there will certainly be no cash prize in the end.
The worst part is I actually want to go back and find that
nurse :
Africa only has so many options :P
Questions for You:
If you HAD to pick one place in Africa, where would you go?
(obligatory)
What is your most positive hospital experience? (for a
change)
Overall: what do you think of nurses? (hot or not? You decide).
um, Egypt or South Africa. I would have at one time gladly had mono to lose weight and you quoted the Devil Wears Prada which is awe-some. My mom is a nurse, so that's Freudian territory, chief!
ReplyDeleteI would like to go to the specific spot that you were at and find that nurse.
ReplyDeleteAlso, WHY have you blacked out certain portions of the dark continent? Is this some alternative plague-ridden future?
ReplyDeleteANSWERS AL
ReplyDeletewasn't me. they blacked themselves out...
ReplyDeleteEgypt/South Africa
ReplyDeleteHad heart surgery and DIDN'T die
I know a lot of nurses personally and they don't do anything for me sexually, but some of them have really great/sick senses of humour. Also, because they've experienced a lot of disgusting things, never let them know you're in any way squeamish or they'll torture you with their stories. New Drs and EMTs are where it's at for me.