Skip to main content

Kingdom Hospital: Africa

Hello world within The UCverse.
Finally, after days upon days, illness and epidemic have left my village in Africa, and as the African proverb reads. “I’m thankful that I am not those other starving bastards.”

After encountering the truest of jungle fevers, I had the fortune to visit my first third world hospital since my birth. It wasn’t the amount of dirt on the floors that put me off, and it wasn’t the obvious stains and remnants of blood, urine, and someone elses hair in the hospital bed that made me dislike my experience.

It was the nurse. So attractive. Such a Bitch.

However, one can learn that there is always opportunity coming from misfortune. It makes me remember the line from The Devil Wears Prada,

“I am one stomach flu away from my ideal weight.”

Those are sad but fabulous facts of life. Right now my body has withered away to something like Christian Bale in the “The Machinist,” but in all seriousness when I look in the mirror I see something that resembles a cross between The Situation and Vinny (imagine that).

Other positives were now knowing that I have survived a more disgusting endeavor than anything seen on Fear Factor, but since this is Africa, there will certainly be no cash prize in the end.

The worst part is I actually want to go back and find that nurse :

Africa only has so many options :P

Questions for You:
If you HAD to pick one place in Africa, where would you go? (obligatory)
What is your most positive hospital experience? (for a change)
Overall: what do you think of nurses? (hot or not? You decide).

Comments

  1. um, Egypt or South Africa. I would have at one time gladly had mono to lose weight and you quoted the Devil Wears Prada which is awe-some. My mom is a nurse, so that's Freudian territory, chief!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would like to go to the specific spot that you were at and find that nurse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also, WHY have you blacked out certain portions of the dark continent? Is this some alternative plague-ridden future?

    ReplyDelete
  4. wasn't me. they blacked themselves out...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Egypt/South Africa

    Had heart surgery and DIDN'T die

    I know a lot of nurses personally and they don't do anything for me sexually, but some of them have really great/sick senses of humour. Also, because they've experienced a lot of disgusting things, never let them know you're in any way squeamish or they'll torture you with their stories. New Drs and EMTs are where it's at for me.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th