Personally, I find it very hard to imagine life without television shows. Not to sound mental or anything, I just feel they offer such a fascinating sense of escapism from everyday life, especially when a particular series contains characters and/or storylines you can instantly relate to.
With that in mind, I thought it would be interesting to provide you guys with the 411 on the recent primetime schedule announcements (otherwise known as upfronts) for the 2012–13 TV season by the five major US television networks: ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox and NBC. Sure, this information is all over the web, but you certainly won't find my witty remarks, laced with occasional raciness, anywhere else. Now, let's take a better look at which shows will be returning this fall—and which won't.
Renewed: 90210 • Gossip Girl • Hart of Dixie • The L.A. Complex • Nikita • Supernatural • The Vampire Diaries
Cancelled: One Tree Hill (final season) • Ringer • The Secret Circle
New series: Arrow • Beauty and the Beast • The Carrie Diaries • Cult • Emily Owens, M.D.
It's happening: Gossip Girl has been renewed for its final season. Pause for drama.
Okay, pulled myself together.
Yes, I knew it was bound to happen, considering how disappointing season 5 was in both quality and ratings, but still, GG has been my life for the last five years! (About eight if you consider the novel series.) Despite previous reports of a half-season order consisting of 11 episodes (as many predicted), CW president Mark Pedowitz has recently revealed that the episode order for the final season has yet to be decided. It's the end of an era. :( The general consensus is that the first two seasons are the best, and I agree, although I did love the third season as well. To me, season 4 was when things started going downhill. Well, except for Katie Cassidy's 11-episode arc at the beginning of that season, which helped me get over the heartbreak caused by the cancellation of The CW's 2009 reboot of Melrose Place (I know, I'm a little bit dramatic).
If this wasn't depressing enough, Chace Crawford—AKA the love of my life (and I'm not one to throw around this particular four-letter word)—revealed in a recent interview that he plans to leave New York City once the show ends, which means I've only got one year or so to put my plans to stalk him (with class and grace, naturally) in NY into practice. Where could he possibly be moving to?? I don't care if Nate doesn't have any decent storylines, it's so sad that I'll no longer see him on a regular basis. Sure, he has a part in the film What to Expect When You're Expecting, which was released last week, but it's just not the same. Ugh, I just wanna sleep it all away in my Egyptian-cotton-sheeted bed with a cup of Häagen-Dazs. On second thought, I would benefit a lot more from
|He's so handsome it's hurts|
Following previously announced renewals 90210, The Vampire Diaries (the network's highest-rated show), and Supernatural, The CW announced on May 11 that they would also be picking up Nikita and newcomer Hart of Dixie, whereas freshman entries Ringer and The Secret Circle are goners. As much as I loved Ringer, I knew it was doomed from the start. The Secret Circle's cancellation came as a bit of a shock, though, since it was the network's second (or third) highest-rated series. I never really got the appeal anyway, I mean, that lead actress was so dull and monotonous, as was the rest of the cast.
I'm so glad for 90210 and Nikita, especially because it was initally assumed that either Nikita or Hart of Dixie (or both) would be cancelled, so now I'll still be able to swoon over Shane West every time he pops up on the screen! Similarly to Gossip Girl, I much prefer the first two seasons of 90210 (I miss Dustin Milligan), but we'll see how things roll out. I'm not a fan of Supernatural, but here's the primary reason to tune in to it:
Yep, I judge TV shows by how hot its male actors are, sue me.
The L.A. Complex, the Canadian import from MuchMusic which stars Cassie Steele (Degrassi: The Next Generation), became the lowest-rated in-season broadcast drama debut on record of all time. Ouch. Although it was announced last week that The CW would axe the midseason effort, cast member Andra Fuller reported this week via Facebook that the 13 episodes of the second season will air simultaneously on MuchMusic and on The CW beginning in July. Comparisons to the Melrose Place reboot are somewhat inevitable (both shows follow a group of 20-somethings living in an apartment complex in LA), and while I wouldn't say The L.A. Complex is better (it isn't), I find myself really digging it. Looking forward to season 2.
The CW has picked up five pilots, including two projects from the executive producers of Gossip Girl! One of these is The Carrie Diaries, a prequel to the seminal HBO series Sex and the City. Based on the homonymous book series by Candace Bushnell, the show will focus on 16-year-old Carrie Bradshaw (played by AnnaSophia Robb, best known for her roles in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Soul Surfer) during her senior year of high school in the early 1980s, and her early life working as a struggling writer in Manhattan. Now, before you nostalgics get all worked up for whatever reason, Samantha Jones is the only other member of the fab four expected to appear. Can you picture Robb as the ever-fabulous Carrie Bradshaw?
|Well, NOW YOU CAN|
Kidding, heh. Here are pictures of the actual result.
So cute! I absolutely loved them neon orange heels. I know I might be a little too optimistic, given what a hot mess The CW has been when it comes to ratings, let alone the usual skepticism regarding spin-offs of successful franchises. Remember that failed Gossip Girl prequel/spin-off series back in 2009, which would also have taken place in the '80s? Exactly. It's not my fault that I have a weakness for soapy teen dramas, and what better network for those than The CW? Other stars include Austin Butler (Zoey 101) and Chloe Bridges (Angelina Jolie's long-lost daughter), as well as newcomer Brendan Dooling, who will play Carrie's gay pal.
Two words: Me gusta. Don't worry, no one will ever take Chace's place in my
The Carrie Diaries will debut in January 2013, as will Cult, which is also from the GG producers. The other three new shows—Arrow (based on the DC Comics title), Beauty and the Beast, and Emily Owens, M.D.—are all set to premiere this fall. Also, Katie Cassidy will have a starring role on Arrow!
Renewed: Body of Proof • Castle • Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 • Grey's Anatomy • Happy Endings • Last Man Standing • The Middle • Modern Family • Once Upon a Time • Private Practice • Revenge • Scandal • Suburgatory
Cancelled: Charlie's Angels • Cougar Town (picked up by TBS) • Desperate Housewives (final season) • GCB • Man Up • Missing • Pan Am • The River • Work It
New series: 666 Park Avenue • Family Tools • How to Live with Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) • Last Resort • Malibu Country • Nashville • The Neighbors • Red Widow • Zero Hour
Both a critical and ratings success, Revenge has been one of my favorite new series this last season, it's so addictive! It's simply perfect for fans of clever mystery/thriller dramas. Moreover, it will take over the highly coveted Sunday 9 p.m. timeslot that had been occupied since 2004 by Desperate Housewives. Speaking of, did anyone else see the two-hour series finale of Desperate Housewives? As someone who had been following the show closely for years, I must say I found it rather underwhelming. Yay for Suburgatory though, such a fun comedy.
Once Upon a Time has certainly been another of ABC's highlights this season, as its debut became the network's biggest in five years. I did watch a few episodes, it's quite an interesting modern spin on classic fairy tales. Okay, fine, it helps a lot that Jamie Dornan is in it.
In case you didn't know, Dornan is an actor, model, and musician (yum, a triple threat) hailing all the way from Northern Ireland, and as you can see, he's a total babe. He first caught my attention in Sofia Coppola's 2006 lovely film Marie-Antoinette. Plus, I thought you guys would be interested to know that he has full-frontal nudes floating around the web! No, not the leaked, trashy kind of nudes. They actually appeared in a 2007 issue of art and fashion magazine Visionaire, so it's an artsy wiener, not fap material. But now I'm just drifting away from the main subject of this post, so let's move on.
Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 debuted last month and I'm already hooked. I can't even begin to explain how hilarious and witty it is, you just have to watch it. Shows set in New York are often my favorite to model my life after—probably because they make moving there look a lot easier than it might actually be. The sitcom stars the hilarious Krysten Ritter, Dreama Walker, and former Dawson's Creek star James Van Der Beek, who plays a fictionalized version of himself. Despite receiving very positive reviews from critics, Apartment 23 came under fire from the Parents Television Council (PTC), which described the show as "a sexist mixed-bag of hedonism, drug-use, alcohol abuse [...] and explicit levels of promiscuity that are shocking even by today's broadcast TV standards." Yawn. You know what they say: Whiners are wieners.
Fun fact: Did you know that both Ritter and Walker appeared on Gossip Girl? (Apparently, everyone mentioned in this post has appeared on GG at some point.)
Walker played recurring character Hazel Williams, one of Blair's minions, in the first two seasons, while Ritter guest starred in a flashback episode in season 2, which served as the backdoor pilot for the proposed spin-off series I mentioned briefly earlier. Sadly, the spin-off wasn't picked up by The CW. Now, check out Ritter's wardrobe on the show.
|I have one thing to say: SASHAY! SHANTAY!|
I need the Union Jack tee! And the studded jacket! And the blue jacket! Hell, gimme everything, bitch. I absolutely love this combination of jet-black hair and pale skin, which is something she and I share. Not to sound braggy or anything, just sayin'. Besides, I totally relate to Ritter's character, Chloe, a vivacious, confident con artist with the morals of a pirate.
It's such a shame Pan Am got cancelled, I was just getting into it. It had such interesting storylines. Also, Mike Vogel.
A blond hottie in uniform—what's not to like about it?
Sorry, I shall not let my hormones take over again.
Renewed: 2 Broke Girls • The Big Bang Theory • Blue Bloods • Criminal Minds • CSI: Crime Scene Investigation • CSI: NY • The Good Wife • Hawaii Five-0 • How I Met Your Mother • The Mentalist • Mike & Molly • NCIS • NCIS: Los Angeles • Person of Interest • Rules of Engagement • Two and a Half Men
Cancelled: CSI: Miami • A Gifted Man • How to Be a Gentleman • NYC 22 • Rob • Unforgettable
New series: Elementary • Friend Me • Golden Boy • Made in Jersey • Partners • Vegas
Geez, why so many CSI's? Anyway... 2 Broke Girls was renewed, shocker. In addition to being the highest-rated new comedy of the 2011–12 season, the show debuted to an audience of 19.4 million viewers, marking the highest rating for a fall premiere of a comedy series since September 2001. It also won Favorite New TV Comedy at the People's Choice Awards earlier this year. Need I say more?
Elsewhere, I don't really curr. I'm an occasional watcher of The Big Bang Theory, but Two and a Half Men... Well, the following GIF pretty much sums up my feelings about it.
All that anti-Ashton Kutcher campaign didn't prove effective after all, and the fact that it's currently CBS's second highest-rated show (after TBBT) speaks louder. For what it's worth, I think Kutcher and Charlie Sheen are both lame. How I Met Your Mother is not my cup of tea either, I mean, anything involving Neil Patrick Harris will most certainly put me off watching it.
None of that shit matters when there's Kat Dennings' epic beauty.
Renewed: American Dad! • Bob's Burgers • Bones • The Cleveland Show • Family Guy • Fringe • Glee • New Girl • Raising Hope • The Simpsons • Touch
Cancelled: Alcatraz • Allen Gregory, Breaking In • The Finder, House (final season) • I Hate My Teenage Daughter • Napoleon Dynamite • Terra Nova
New series: Ben and Kate • The Following • The Goodwin Games • The Mindy Project • The Mob Doctor
Overall, I really love New Girl, especially the first episodes, but some episodes were just... "alright." And apparently I'm not alone: After its premiere attracted 10.28 viewers (the highest-rated fall debut for a Fox scripted show since The Bernie Mac Show in 2001), the sitcom saw an audience decline, sustaining average yet relatively stable ratings. Let's just hope things look brighter for the second season.
Wait a second—is Glee still on air?? Yuck. I Hate My Teenage Daughter was slightly funny, but it was panned by critics, and lackluster ratings didn't help either, so... yeah.
Renewed: 30 Rock • Community • The Office • Parks and Recreation • Up All Night • Whitney
Cancelled: Are You There, Chelsea? • Awake • Bent • Best Friends Forever • Chuck (final season) • The Firm • Free Agents • Harry's Law • The Playboy Club • Prime Suspect
New series: 1600 Penn • Animal Practice • Chicago Fire • Do No Harm • Go On • Guys with Kids • Hannibal • Howie Mandel's White Elephant • Infamous • The New Normal • Next Caller • Ready for Love • Revolution • Save Me • Stars Earn Stripes • Surprise with Jenny McCarthy
As predicted previously, veteran sitcoms Community and 30 Rock were picked up by NBC for 13-episode orders earlier this month, with the latter heading into its final season. Despite being critical darlings, both shows failed to attain stellar ratings this last season. It was a particularly difficult season for Community; besides being absent from NBC's 2011–12 midseason schedule, the cult favorite made headlines after Chevy Chase and series creator Dan Harmon engaged in a bitter feud, which started at the show's third season wrap party in late March (click here for further deets).
Personally speaking, I genuinely loved the first two seasons of Community—I hadn't watched a sitcom this hilarious and clever for ages. I was completely obsessed with it last year, wishing my life could be that fun, too. Then came season 3, which I thought was rather hit-or-miss. While it had its fair share of funny episodes, I didn't find it as thoroughly enjoyable as its preceding seasons. The three-part season finale, however, was pretty epic. Especially part one, which was mostly animated as an old-school 8-bit video game.
Nevertheless, Parks and Recreation will return for a full fourth season of 22 episodes. Also renewed—in spite of all the hate it gets—is Whitney, created and starred by Whitney Cummings (no, we're not related). Four first-year scripted series were cancelled, including Are You There, Chelsea? (which seems to get even more hate than Whitney), based on Chelsea Handler's bestseller Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Both are guilty pleasures of mine, and while they're nowhere near the wit and creativity of 2 Broke Girls (also created by Cummings), I have yet to figure out what's so godawful about them. Well, so far I've only watched the first eight or nine episodes of Whitney, but there was this one particular episode (the third one, if I recall correctly) that really cracked me up. And while I'm not so sure I'll be missing Are You There, Chelsea?, it had its funny moments, and Laura Prepon was great in it.
Damn, I had no idea NBC was struggling with ratings. Is it becoming the new CW?
C'est fini. So, how do you feel about the results? Happy about your favorite show(s) being renewed? Sad about a certain cancellation? Excited to catch a new show this next season? And last but not least—what are your expectations for The Carrie Diaries?
Now if you'll excuse me, these pictures of Chace and these other hot fellas got me craving a nice bubble bath (if you watch Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, you'll know what I'm talking about). Ciao!