Skip to main content

An Open Letter to the Gymnast: He Kexin



***If only she knew those were my hands on her back.....
Dear He Kexin,
Hey, what’s up? Have you learned English yet?

So how is life making the Olympic Team twice for China? I once wrote a post about you called “Hidden Voice Talents.” I hope you read it, but at the same time, it also mentioned Brad Garrett, so I’ll be kind of glad if you didn’t.

He Kexin, what’s it like to compete in the Olympics and actually be 16 years old this time?
What’s the matter, you are all big and tall now, and you no longer look like an action figure…I know that you and I are from different countries…countries which are enemies…but just think, in two years you will actually be able old enough to date me, meaning I know that you were 12 during Beijing 2008. I hope you go for that whole “older men are so attractive" mentality.
2008 = Way Too Young!

 Trust me, I am not set on breaking any laws (like how you faked your age for the last Olympics), and I am not willing to become the Chinese R. Kelly…so I will say, I have no problem waiting 2 years before you and I can eat stuff with chopsticks and elope, but not in that order. 



 Question for Kexin:
Anyway, I know you are like famous and such, but ever had the idea of getting into trouble with a foreigner, or is that only me?
Either way, wish you the best in the 2012 London Games.
(2 Years Older and We’re Kosher My Little Rice Pudding!!!!)

Comments

  1. The author of this is disgusting. No matter what you believe when it comes to this gymnast's age (FIG did conclude their investigation about her age and she was found to be 16 years old), this article is just gross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In all seriousness, I know. You are 100% correct. They conducted an investigation, and she passed.
      She has also been super confident about denying the allegations.

      Really, I am a major fan of He Kexin, and I was supporting her for Gold every step of the way. I just express it in a manner that is very difficult to understand :)

      Delete
  2. SHES MINE YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE! Keep your hands off my little Kexin! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Btch pls! 700 million women in China...we shouldn't fight over the same fortune cookie. (just let me win)

      Delete
    2. The only nerve I want to hit is the one between her..........

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created.  "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong.  Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawso

movies you should see: hiroshima mon amour

Hiroshima, Mon Amour this movie has been on my mind a lot lately, due to the recent events in Japan. when I saw it about a year ago, it easily made an impression on me. easily. it was just so beautiful, in every way thinkable. it follows the story of a French actress and her Japanese architect lover, having a conversation together as they lie in bed. the majority of the film is told in flashbacks of their lives in WWII (the film was made in 1959, so there's a ten year gap there). he was directly affected by the dropping of the atom bomb in Hiroshima; she was ostracized due to her involvement with a German soldier. the reason I was propelled to see it was the song "Burning Hearts" by My Favorite- "I was an architect, she was an actress, I drew the Eiffel Tower upon her dress." (really good song too, by the way! RIP My Favorite). luckily, you can find the movie online. here's a portion of it: I HOPE YOU LIKE READING FILMS it's given credit (so I am