Skip to main content

An Open Letter to Recently Separated Amy Poehler and Will Arnett

by Ursula, frequent guest writer

nooooooo
Dear Will and Amy,

Before I say anything else, just know this: you are awesome.  For
serious.  From Arrested Development to Blades of Glory to Parks and
Rec, your work has been some of my favorite comedy for years.  You
guys have been like my TV parents.  You’re funny, you’re reliable,
you’ve always been there for me.  I’m still waiting for you to pay off
my student loans for me, but whatever.

I get that Hollywood marriages typically only last a season or two,
and let’s be honest: Katy Perry and Russell Brand were never going to
make it.  But…you’re Will and Amy!  Nine years!  Two babies!  Are you
kidding me?

Okay, fine, I don’t know anything about y’all’s relationship, so I’m
just going to pretend that I do.  Will, you need to talk in your sexy
voice more.  Obviously you’re not doing it enough.  I also recommend a
nice Calvin Klein suit.  Amy, you might be a little high-strung, so
just try to relax.  You’re fine.  Everything is fine.

I just love you guys so much and if you get divorced I’m seriously
going to throw things.
 Work it out.  Eat some cake.  You’ll feel better.

Sincerely,

Ursula 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created.  "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong.  Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

3 New Lana Songs Come Out From Upcoming Album "Blue Banisters"

Not even that far off from "Chemtrails Over The Country Club" being released this past March, Lana Del Rey dropped three new singles off her upcoming project, "Blue Banisters." They include the title track, "Text Book," and "Wildflower Wildfire." All three songs seem to merge the worlds of "COCC" with "Norman Fucking Rockwell," specifically Lana's mouthful of a track "Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me To Have But I Have It." They also seem uncharacteristically more confessional than most of Lana's catalog to date, specifically "Wildflower Wildfire," which alludes to a conflict with her mother. She even starts the track with "Here's the deal," readying to show more of her backstory than she ever has in her decade-plus-long career. The three songs are gorgeous - especially "Text Book," which has a haunting quality to it (she mentions "Black Lives Matter" i

RIP Andy Warpigs

If you're even vaguely familiar with the Phoenix music scene to any extent, you probably knew Andy Warpigs. I saw them a few times at Yucca/Time Out Lounge when I was frequenting both spots a few years ago. Andy Warpigs was one of the most ubiquitous names you could come across, and with good reason - they were an incredibly prolific and talented artist, basically a Phoenix legend.  Unfortunately, over the weekend Andy Warpigs passed away - an extremely tragic loss. If you can possibly donate to the GoFundMe to help Andy's mom with funeral expenses , please do so.  Take care, Britt