Skip to main content

When I saw Fiona Apple Before She Turned Into Willie Nelson

Last night, on Fiona Apple's tourbus:
 
*plays Bob Marley*
 
FIONA:  And then I was like, Tori Amos, Bjork wasn't on bath salts and didn't try to eat your face, that's just how people in Iceland express affection.
 
RANDOM MUSICIAN DUDE:  Oh, cool. *hands huge pumpkin they are smoking hashish out of* You should give that a good go and we can watch QVC and make impractical purchases together.
 
FIONA:  Sounds good to me. God, where are we?
 
RANDOM MUSICIAN DUDE:  I dunno. New Mexico?
 
FIONA:  Ugh. I can't wait to buy another juicer in an hour. *smokes the hashish*
 
(is it apparent I am not really big on this "vice?" haha. you kids and your hydroponics!)
 
 
Hours later...

THE TEXAS RANGER, AS PLAYED BY BILLY BOB THORNTON:  Ma'am, can we search  your bus? You, being a white woman who is a cult pop star, seem suspicious.

FIONA:  Yeah, but don't judge me for all the juicers. They just happened.

RANGER:  Why are your eyes so red? Have you gone to Chuck E Cheese lately?

FIONA:  ....

and the rest is TMZ history. Freeeeeeeeeeeee Fiona!

II. Mesa, AZ, 9/18

After work, I hurried to my apt and then to Mesa to see this show that I have been dreaming about since I was 14 or 15. It felt like a little Christmas! I mean I always fantasized but I never thought it'd materialize. For as much as I look up and relate to her, I also feel she is a larger than life figure. So seeing her live wasn't like, seeing Feist or St. Vincent or Lykke Li. They all felt like, not that much different then me, though.  

Although my enthusiasm was a little moot that evening, long busride and all. And I was tired and blind because up until this afternoon I had seriously lost my glasses. So when I say I saw Fiona Apple I mean "I saw an orb." I mean like I thought a speaker was her at one point.

IKEDA Theater was one cool venue! It's in Mesa, which I guess is like Columbus in the desert. I mean I don't mind Mesa but parts of it are quite rundown and sad and abandoned, so I guess it reminds me of home! And also this was my virgin voyage into downtown Mesa, which seemed kind of neat. Also- every other concertgoer was RIDICULOUSLY attractive. Everyone there was beautiful, dear god. :O

Blake Mills opened the show. My old roommate is all about Blake Mills but he hasn't sold me yet- he sounds promising, but eh. He reminds me of M. Ward and I can only take so much M. Ward. I got there as he closed his set and befriended the old lady ushers who were like "YOU CAN'T GO IN UNTIL THIS BOY PUTS HIS GUITAR. IS HE DOING THAT? NO?" It's also worth mentioning how I misread the venue map in June and bought tickets up near the back. Like, in the way back. So I had a row to myself, yeah? Me and the ushers that shook their heads the whole time and clucked disapproval. Like really? You could be listening to dubstep. Lighten up fools! The best part about Blake Mills, though, was his La Bamba impression. He seems really talented, just not my bag (of hashish) at the moment.

See photos hurr.

So we had an about average intermission and THEN Fiona walked onto the stage and the crowd really went insane. Like, for such a good-looking group of people, they showered her with adoration. Not one song finished and some girl was not screaming in the back "Fionaaaaaa we love youuuuuuuuu!" (it wasn't me! I did clap and wave and cry at several moments though)

The next 90 minutes were intense, beginning with (ohmaigod) "Fast As You Can." She barely spoke to us- and Fiona has the reputation of being this loose cannon when it comes to her live performances; she has stormed off a stage in tears once- and really, she seems like kind of a delicate girl, let her have her "reefer" if she needs it- and never returned. So I was crossing my fingers and I'm sure others were too that she was in a good mood. Was she?
...


 Um. Yes. She was playful and at ease and dancing very primal. Yes, she scared the shit out of me in "Not About Love" when she hollered and the instruments went crazy and the lights went as to induce seizures to reflect the dark energy that was hmm everywhere. But she sweetened it up afterwards by giving us a neurotic rant about boobs and shoes. And when she spoke, my heart melted.

I was surprised though by how little of Idler Wheel made an appearance. Like- she glossed over a lot and seemed to opt for material from When the Pawn, which is one of my favorite albums ever. "Get Gone" went down so well I had tears streaming down my face. (also I'm reading the New Times review and I guess I hallucinated). And she did not play "Criminal," which I applaud, really.

The only nitpicky things I have to say was a.) she messed up her lyrics a lot. And I know this because I have her discography memorized. But she improved very well and her voice was on the ball. And also I was no fan of how "I Know" was live. "Shadowboxer" was slowed down to like honey (haha, get it, "Slow Like Honey") pacing, but "I Know" was just. :/

I saw Joanna Newsom live in 2010 and this show reminded me a lot of Joanna. A lot a lot. I just wanted to mention that somewhere.

"Anything We Want" was another great moment. Immaculate, really! Her band was right there with her, bringing its weird sexual energy to life. I think that song has classic potential; I have spent many walks home air-pianoing it like I was fingering a porcupine (invisible). Also, "Werewolf?" The screaming children chorus made me cower a bit in person! No "Valentine" or "Hot Knife," however.

And she came off as very gracious and sweet between songs, bowing her head a little to murmur her thanks, although ALL I COULD SEE WAS A BLUR OF FLESH.

Also:  Blake Mills, when he was guitaring for her? He was incredible. His solos were....just unexpected!

There was no encore. At around 10 pm, she ran off the stage and the lights went back on. I have never pined for a singer more after a show- it was really all too short. But even so, I'm so glad this evening happened. This girl is one of the best singer-songwriters of our time, no doubt, hashish or no hashish.

After the show, I felt bleak and exhilarated, and while waiting for my cab home, maced a cockroach.

Kostenlos Fiona!

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawson, send it...

No Time to Fuck: The Goldfrapp Essay

Konnichiwa! This is Irina Cummings and I'm here to discuss one of the most brilliant, innovative, and creative artists in the entire history of mankind: Goldfrapp – or as I like to call them , GODfrapp – the fantastique, highly inspirational, and sometimes criminally overlooked electronic music duo from London consisting of Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory, whose godly music has certainly influenced the vast majority of today's synthpop ladies, including Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Annie and Florence + the Machine (not electro but still worth your while). They're primarily known for their mind-blowing music (which have spanned pretty much every style of electronic music – and some non-electronic as well), their abstract, sexually ambiguous – at times forthright – lyrics which are often not gender- specific , and their elaborate shows, not to mention the amazing visual aesthetics of their work, conjuring images that masterly complement ...

An Open Letter to the Actress: Milena Govich

Dear Milena Govich, Hey, how are you? What is up? Well, I assume you might get 5-7 fan letters a week, but I hope the glitter on my envelope stood out to you. In all seriousness, I have not been the most loyal fan of your filmography, but in the opening credits of the 2006 show, “Conviction,” I got to see you in your underwear. Ever since then, I have been one of your most active online stalkers (not a crime in all states I think). In the next letter, I promise to include an underwear photo for you, so we'll be even. Milena, I remember even back to the days when you worked on one of those other 200 Dick Wolf projects you did...what was the name of that show? “Law and Order.” Yes, that was it. You made history as playing the first female lead detective on the “Law and Order” original franchise for your role as Detective Cassidy. However, I will have to note your performance was strongly tainted when Chevy Chase guest-starred and gave you the nickname, “Detective Sugar-Tits.” At leas...