Episode 6: Do the Wrong Thing
What
a crazy week, huh? I hope everyone on the East coast is recovering
from that bitch Sandy. And I hope everyone got out an voted today! I know I did!
Anyhoo,
this week Dexter starts feeling all funny about a certain blonde
lady, Deb has lustful thoughts about a true crime author, and Quinn
dry humps a bag of money. Oh, and there’s some stuff about crimes
and covering up said crimes, too. (I also totally phoned in the pics for this recap. I have a cold, and that's my excuse.)
We
start the episode with Dexter stalking Hannah. He’s convinced
himself that she’s a murderer. Ghost dad shows up to be the voice
of reason, pointing out that he has no actual proof. He does this
while Dex pretends to read and stares at Hannah as she crouches down in slo mo.
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Like father like son, amirite? |
At
Miami Metro, Deb and LaGuerta debrief everyone about Isaak; they have
a solid case, so don’t do anything like destroy evidence
(foreshadowing!). Dexter figures he’ll give Hannah a “peace
offering” since he accused her of murder last episode. He decides
to fudge the blood evidence on the newly exhumed corpses. I feel like
Dexter is mistaking his lust for killing for another kind of lust.
Meanwhile,
on Prison Break, Isaak torments the Colombian prisoners and calls
George (formerly Foxhole Manager) on his...cell phone? Something
tells me he’s not supposed to have one of those in prison.
Over
on Dexter Stalking Hannah, Dexter stalks Hannah, who is—you guessed
it—crouching. They talk about poisoning rabbits, Dexter flirts and
talks about his dead wife and she about her dead husband and her
former mentor, Beverly (also dead), who may or may not have been
murdered by her. And then she gives him an orchid. No, that’s not a
euphemism. I feel like orchids are expensive? So she has a great
business model.
Later
at Miami Metro, we’re introduced to Sal Price, author of Wayne
Randall’s story. He’s looking over the old and new case files for
an update to the book. He also asks Deb out but she shoots him the
fuck down. As we all know Deb has a fantastic track record with men
(one was a serial killer, one was a former criminal, one was a great
guy that got murdered, and one was, well, Quinn).
Dexter
gets info on Beverly's death, and it turns out it was under
mysterious circumstances. Imagine that! Dex leaves work and breaks into Sal’s
house and steals some info on Hannah.
Quinn,
meanwhile, gives back the money George (aka the Russian mob) gave him
last episode. This in turn makes George and Isaak very angry. Angry
enough to make George take Quinn out to dinner. Not really, but he
does threaten to send Nadja to a sex farm if Quinn doesn’t destroy
the evidence. Long story short: he totally destroys the evidence. And
while we’re on the subject, are there no cameras in the evidence
locker?
Did
you wonder what Angel and Jamie were up to? Me neither, but we get an
obligatory scene with them having lunch and Angel ponders retiring
and buying a restaurant. Also, two things about this scene: 1) Jamie
eats like she’s never held a knife and fork before and 2) How did I
not know Angel and Jamie were brother and sister? I thought Jamie was
his illegitimate daughter (that would make more sense, anyway...)
That
evening (I think) LaGuerta tells Deb about her ongoing investigation
into the Bay Harbor Butcher (BHB). Turns out those interviews she did
last episode went nowhere. But that’s only led her to search other
cases. The “barrel girls” murderers (that’s season 5 for those
of you paying attention) seem like a likely candidate for the BHB.
Deb does her best to dissuade LaGuerta.
At
home, Dexter reads some fanfic—no, wait, it’s just Sal’s
research on Hannah. Sal’s investigation discovered trace amounts of
aconite (a plant-based poison) in Beverly’s system. So maybe Hannah
did murder Beverly after all...
Oh
shit, Hannah’s here! She googled Dexter and shows up with another
orchid, only this one has “blood spatters” on it. She traipses
around his home, and puts the plant on his bedroom dresser. They have
some uncomfortable sexy flower talk until Deb calls mercifully. And
for those of you playing along, Hannah has now given Dexter two
expensive-looking orchids.
Dexter
eventually meet Deb at her place, and she is all fired up about this
new development in LaGuerta’s theory. Dab asks him about the barrel
girls and puts all of season five together in her head: Lumen, her
staying at Dexter’s old house, the mysteriously disappeared
murderers (lest we forget, Deb let Dex and Lumen go at the end of
that season). Dex tries to assure her that they’ll never find Lumen
and that she wouldn’t talk, even if they did. Deb is 50 shades of
unconvinced, and Dex doesn’t get why.
On the next installment of Dexter Stalking Hannah, Dex has a brief convo with
Hannah’s gardener, who tell Dex that Hannah and Beverly were very
close, and that Hannah was the only one with access to her around the
time of her demise. Later, Dex snoops around Hannah’s greenhouse
(again, not a euphemism) and finds the aconite flower...and it’s
been recently harvested.
Hannah
returns and invites Dexter in for coffee. She confronts Dexter as to
why he’s been stalking her. Thinking on his feet—and not drinking
the probably poisoned coffee—Dexter asks to “take her out” on a
date. At first, Hannah declines; she goes into this story about Wayne
and her lack of control issues when it comes to dating—oh, and how
she never got to see "Santa’s Holiday Adventure" (seriously, not
making this up). But Dexter appeals to her bad side, and she says
yes.
At
Miami Metro, word is out that Angel might retire. Deb is overly
concerned, but all their conversation serves is an opportunity for
Deb to get up the nerve to ask Sal out on a date. They meet up at a
trendy restaurant and Deb offers an interesting quid-pro-quot: she’ll
make out with him if he tells her about his new book (dot dot dot)
about Hannah. Deb asks to see his evidence, and he shows her the
actual bloodwork on the recently exhumed bodies. Too bad they went
and gave her that pesky immunity.
Dexter
takes Hannah to "Santa’s Holiday Adventure"—the only place in
Florida where one can see real snow, or somesuch. After holding hands
and turning on the snow machine, Dex drugs Hannah and straps her
down. After a few very tense moments, Dexter doesn’t kill her...he
bangs her.
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And how! |
I
think this episode was a huge climax for us viewers, who might be
feeling a bit...pent up with all the non-death going on on a show
about a serial killer. At least we got us some tasteful sideboob.
Also, why does Michael C Hall never show his bare ass? Doe he have
ass pimples? They can CGI that shit, you know.
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