Skip to main content

The First Annual "Bitch, What Were You Thinking?" Awards

In honor of the Oscars, I decided to give out an award myself. It's called "Bitch, What Were You Thinking?" It's reserved for morons who perhaps should have the right to breathe taken away from them. 

Are you excited to see who our first ever winner is? I bet the suspense is killing you. I will let that marinate.

.
...
......
............
....................
...........................
....................................

It's this crazy twat bran muffin who is in love with the Aurora, Colorado batshit shooter, James Holmes! Yup, the psychopath who looks like Garfield queefed in his hair. You can't make this shit up, Abraham Lincoln once said, and I must commiserate.

She has dyed her hair (evident from photo in linked story) to match Mr. Garfield Pubes. She also compared her infatuation with him to her childhood boy band obsessions. 

 Bitch, One Direction. Obsess over that nonsense! Not mass murderers! JESUS!

 And, perhaps most disturbingly- this banana vagina is NOT alone. Garfield Jizz evidently has groupies who imitate his lifestyle (which means going to Subway and getting slurpies a lot?)

 What to make of all this stupidity? I'm going to go take a bath with a microwave. 

Labels:

Comments

  1. AnonymousJanuary 12, 2013 at 6:58 PM

    One more person to the list of, "I hope they die in a chemical fire."

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mon Soleil" - Ashley Park

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th
Post a Comment
Read more

"Anchors" - AM Higgins

Here's a nice breezy, almost sensual song from AM Higgins (the solo project of musician Annie Toth) to start your Tuesday off right.  Her debut album "Hymning" will be out November 5th on Victorialand Records. The album was mixed by Casey Foubert, a frequent collaborator of Sufjan Stevens. The album "captures the first years of moving from an American city to rural France." Sounds like "Hymning" will be a welcome escape from the world we live in right now, especially considering that Annie Toth counts poets Mary Oliver and Thomas Merton as influences.
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Playlist - 2022 Edition!

 It's truly the little things in life that make a world of difference. And for me, that means my summer playlist! Behold, I have put together 2022's edition. It includes cuts from artists like: - Mitski - Uffie - Johnny Orlando - Kylie Minogue + Jessie Ware - Florence and the Machine (who put out a fantastic album this year after a long dry spell of kind of "meh" records. Her pairing with Jack Antonoff worked out quite well!)  - Bilal - Harry Styles (he has some catchy music!)  - KATE BUSH DUH - And of course, Lana. It's also available on Apple Music, but since I recognize a lot of folks use Spotify, here's that link. Enjoy!
Post a Comment
Read more