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2 Broke Girls recap: And the Big Hole

Have you guys heard the exciting news? CBS has officially renewed 2 Broke Girls for a third season! Well, not that there's any reason to be surprised, but that doesn't make me less ecstatic to know that my favorite sitcom will be returning next season.


Now back to the recap.

Caroline wakes up at night to the rather unpleasant sound of Oleg and Sophie having sex upstairs. Max comes out of her room with sponges covering her ears and a bottle of booze. "This couldn't be any more intrusive!" Caroline complains. All of a sudden, Oleg's leg comes through the ceiling, followed by a bowling ball. "Why do they need a bowling ball?!" Caroline asks. "Maybe they ran out of holes," Max replies.

Han asks Max where Caroline is, as she is 20 minutes late. When she finally turns up, she explains that she had to take a nap because Oleg and Sophie's sex-a-thon kept her up all night. Han insists that punctuality is important, but Caroline laughs it off and implies that the diner is crap. Han retorts by reminding her that the cupcake shop was a failure. "Why so moody, Han? Are you 'manstruating'?" Max taunts. Caroline calls the diner dumb, and in response, Han fires her, causing her to storm out.

Max comes home to find Caroline standing in the doorway, where she's been waiting for Max this whole time just so she could complain to her about getting fired by Han. "Where does he get off?" Caroline wonders. "Probably in Buffy the Vampire Slayer chat rooms," Max says. Caroline tells Max that the only way she will go back to the diner is if Han apologizes. Max says he told her the same thing about Caroline. As Oleg and Sophie start making sex noises again, the bowling ball falls down through the same hole in the ceiling. "Now, that's unsafe sex," Max points out.

Max and Caroline go over to return the sex bowling ball to Sophie and Oleg, who are role-playing as Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Max puts the ball on a table, and it rolls into the girls' apartment again. Caroline asks why they can't have sex at Oleg's apartment, and Sophie reveals she's never been there. Oleg tells her she would be surprised by his apartment. "It's more than just the place the quadruple orgasm was born," he adds, which instantly sparks Sophie's interest. After she goes inside to glue her Beyoncé weave back, Oleg asks the girls to help him revamp his place for Sophie. Caroline agrees to do it for a price, since she's been recently laid off. "If you didn't [charge Oleg], you'd be the only girl who ever went to his apartment without getting paid," Max jokes.

The girls arrive at Oleg's apartment with bags full of pillows. His bachelor pad looks right out of the '80s, complete with a waterbed (or as Caroline calls it, the "Spermship Enterprise") surrounded by neon lights, a sex swing, and an anatomically correct doll named Alexis. "Where are we? Studio 69?" Max quips. Caroline sends Oleg to get cleaning supplies. Max tells Caroline to apologize to Han so they can get out of Oleg's before the syphilis sets in (LOL), but Caroline is still upset over Han's remarks. She climbs the waterbed to open the curtains and get a better view of the apartment, but her heel punctures the bed, causing it to squirt water right in her face. "I swallowed! I accidentally swallowed!" Caroline exclaims. "You know that's been said," Max says.

At the diner, Earl tells Max that a new girl is there to apply for Caroline's job. After taking a look at the girl's resumé, Max scares her off by lying that the boss had broken her femur. Max tries to convince Han to give Caroline back her job, but he is reluctant. She ends up inviting him to smoke weed and watch a movie at her place, since Caroline is at Oleg's.

Instead, Max takes an unsuspecting Han to Oleg's apartment, which now looks like something Martha Stewart would have decorated. When Caroline walks out of a room, she and Han are surprised to see each other. Max reveals her ulterior motive, and tells them she's not letting anyone leave until they talk to each other. Oleg comes in, horrified by the outcome of Caroline's extreme makeover. "My place went from Fifty Shades of Grey to fifty shades of beige!"

Sophie knocks, and Oleg orders the trio to hide in the closet. "Putting a guy who's in the closet in the closet? That's like gay nesting dolls," Max mocks Han. Sophie is weirded out by Oleg's apartment and even asks if he lives with his mother. He says he thought she would enjoy the girl's touch. "What girls? The Golden Girls?" she taunts, laughing. Inside the closet, Oleg's sex doll Alexis scares the crap out of Han. She lands with her face on his lap, and when Caroline tries to help him, the three of them fall out of the closet in quite a compromising position.

Oleg explains that he hired Caroline to redo his apartment so it would look more presentable, even though Sophie unsurprisingly prefers the place the way it looked before, once she learns about the sex swing and the waterbed. He ultimately confesses his love for Sophie, who, in turn, admits she likes him a little bit. Han acknowledges Caroline's ability to make everything prettier. Caroline admits she misses the diner, and Han rehires her. Sophie asks the girls and Han to leave so she and Oleg (and Alexis) can have some alone time. "Now are we going to smoke weed?" Han asks on the way out. "Yeah, I'm dying to see you high. Well, as high as you can get," Max jokes.

Current total: $205.00

Just FYI, there's yet another two-week hiatus ahead of us. I know you guys will miss me and my lifechanging recaps, but you can always hit a sista up.


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