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2 Broke Girls recap: And the Temporary Distraction

I know, our favorite sitcom has finally returned from a two-week hiatus and it took me this long to post this recap. Surprisingly, the only thing about me that is not late is my period (amen to dat). Anyway, I'm so sorry, I've just been really tired—and extra lazy—this week. Here's hoping I can make things up to you guys by offering this:

No, it's not a mirage. Kat Dennings and Jessica Chastain really are together in the very same picture! I mean, not a big deal, just two of the most awesome people in the entire world. Okay, let's move on.

Han tells Max to wait on a pretty girl that just entered the diner, before realizing she looks like a boy. "She's probably looking at you and thinking the same thing. But are you attracted to the girl she is or the boy she appears to be? You're confused, aren't you, Han?" Max mocks. Caroline shows up and says she will wait on her, but Max warns her that that's Tina the Turner (LOL), who is notorious for turning straight girls lesbian. Caroline assures she's very comfortable with her sexuality, and goes over to get her order. When Caroline comes back, she says Tina complimented her hair, and Caroline gave her her number. "I gave her my number?!" Caroline wonders in disbelief. "That's what I get for sending a straight woman to do an emotionally dead woman's job," Max muses.

In the morning, Caroline enjoys not having to stress about the cupcake shop. However, Max continues to make cupcakes, since it's the only constant in her life. Plus, they still need to sell the cupcakes at the diner to make extra money. Max gets a call from her old temp agency—their staff was struck with flu, and they have openings. Max offers Caroline to go along with her, but Caroline doesn't seem too thrilled. Max even has a special temping blazer, which she keeps in a bucket so she won't accidentally wear it.

Right after Caroline declares she's officially done with cupcakes, Sophie and Oleg pay the girls a visit. They are both drunk, and Oleg is wearing one of the girls' cupcake costumes. Caroline explains that she threw those costumes away purposely because she and Max are no longer making cupcakes, as they're a waste of money and time. This sends Sophie over the edge, but Oleg holds her back before she attacks Caroline

As Max and Caroline arrive at the agency, the deadpan secretary, Delores (played by the hilarious Debra Wilson—seriously, I urge you to watch this Destiny's Child skit), asks them to sign a form in case they injure themselves. Caroline asks how that would happen, to which Delores gives her a "for instance" where a girl had a pencil go right through her eyeball and into her brain while working for them. Max tells Caroline you should never give anybody your real name, so they can't track the real you down in case you make a data entry mistake. Delores tells the girls they have to watch a sexual harassment video, which Caroline thinks is a waste of time. Delores has yet another "for instance" for her; this time, it's about a Dominican guy who cupped a female employee's breasts and then started twisting on the nipples. "That's actually how my longest relationship started," Max recalls.

She rules

The girls are watching the aforementioned video in a small, messy office room. In the video, the boss, Doug, harasses an employee, Beverly. Max says she has watched it before, and it does not end well for Beverly. Meanwhile, Caroline obsesses over organizing the room. The office manager, Eli, pops in to introduce himself. Max introduces herself as Carmen Sandiego. "No relation," she adds.

As expected, Max watches funny cat videos on YouTube while Caroline busts her ass. Max wittily points out that it's called "minimum wage" because you're supposed to do the minimum. "Is this a modeling agency? Did I get off on the wrong floor?" Eli jokes as he walks in. "I don't care where you get off as long as it's not here," Max retorts. Impressed by Caroline's hard work, Eli suggests that she apply for the junior executive position, leaving both girls surprised.

At the diner, Max is not too pleased about Caroline applying for the position ("We're only going back one more time to get enough Wite-Out to do the Kim Kardashian white manicure"), but Caroline insists she felt great working somewhere where her skills are valued and supported. Max asks Caroline if she would change her mind once she learned they sold out of cupcakes that night. "They're good one day and you want me to take them back? Who am I, Robert Pattinson?" Caroline quips. We're looking at you, K-Stew.

Back at the office, after Max hilariously declares that she may have downloaded a virus that meows, Eli announces Caroline as the new junior executive. Max initially laments, until Eli announces that champagne is on him. As the girls toast to Caroline's new job, Caroline reveals she convinced Eli to hire Max full-time, to which Max doesn't respond too well. "It comes with health care. You wouldn't have to decide between birth control pills and morning-after pills!" Caroline justifies. "Are you trying to take away a woman's right to choose?" Max asks. To show Max what a fun boss she can be, Caroline suggests they Xerox their asses. "Do you want legal size paper or three-hole punch?" Caroline asks after Max pulls down her pants and hops on the copy machine. "Three-hole punch? That's how my longest relationship ended," Max replies.

Still, Max isn't too keen on taking the job and prefers to stick with the cupcake business, which she thinks was a success while it lasted, even though Caroline disagrees: "Our dream blew up in our face." In response, Max once gives the best pep ever: "Lots of things blow up in your face, it's part of being a woman. You just... towel off and keep going." Max reminds Caroline that temping was supposed to be a short-term distraction until they got back to their dream, but Caroline is convinced that cupcakes were in fact the temp job.

The next day, Caroline goes into Eli's office to meet with him and a woman from HR. She's surprised to learn that Max (or in this case, "Carmen") is accusing her of sexual harassment! Caroline tries to defends herself, and insists that Max is making this all up, but the woman from HR tells her they will have to terminate her employment, before showing a photocopy of Max's butt as evidence. A frustrated Caroline storms off.

At the diner, Caroline confronts Max about her stunt, which will go on her professional work record. Max says Eli expunged it, after she gave him a couple of her ass Xeroxes. She explains that Caroline should wait until she finds another dream, instead of hopping on the first one that comes along just because the cupcake business didn't work. "It's a dream, not a man," she jokes. LOL. Sophie comes in, still mad at the girls. That is, until Caroline announces that Max's Homemade Cupcakes is back in business. Sophie celebrates the news as she joyfully enjoys a cupcake.

Current total: $5.00

I must say, as much as I worship Max, what she did to Caroline was selfish and fucked-up. I know she did explain later why she pulled that stunt, but damn, was that psycho move really necessary? Caroline was doing something she was good at, and Max pretty much stabbed her in the back. I don't think I would be as forgiving as Caroline, especially when it comes to a best friend. I just hope this won't push viewers away. Otherwise, I really liked Debra Wilson's guest stint, the woman is hilarious.


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