Episode
10
Mhysa
Arya—She
and the Hound escape from the Twins, but not before they witness the
“King of the North” (Robb’s body with his direwolf’s head
attached. Pretty gross.) They come upon a group of Frey soldiers
laughing about the Red Wedding. Arya gets mad and kills one of them
and the Hound deals with the rest.
King’s
Landing—Tyrion and Sansa seem to be getting along better now. They
joke about getting revenge on people laughing at them.
Tyrion
is called into a Small Council meeting, where Joffrey beams over the
death of Robb and Catelyn. Oh, and in case anyone forgot, Joffrey is
still an enormous douchebag. After throwing a tantrum, Joff is sent
to his room, and Tywin has a talk with Tyrion.
He
lets slip that he was involved in the Red Wedding, giving assurances
to the Freys. Oh, and when are you going to rape Sansa and get her
preggers? (I’m paraphrasing Tywin’s elegant suggestion.) Tywin
also guilts Tyrion by telling him he was the one that spared his life
when he was born.
After
that awesome conversation, Tyrion drops in on Sansa, who has already
heard the news about her family.
Then
there’s a scene where Varys bribes Shae to leave King’s Landing,
citing that she is more of a distraction to Tyrion than anything
else. She refuses because Shae.
Later,
Tyrion drinks with Pod, but they’re interrupted by Cersei. She
informs him that she will not marry Loras. Oh, and getting Sansa
pregnant will make her happy. They chat about how Joffrey was such a
nice baby.
Jamie
and Brienne—These two are given a short scene, where they both
make it to King’s Landing safe and sound. Well, aside from the
mutilation and bear-fighting. Jamie also pays Cersei a visit. That’s
it, she just looks at him. No bizarre reunion sex for them (at least
not this season).
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| Oh...hai... |
Bran,
Sam & Jon Snow—Bran and his—now smaller—group take
refuge in the long-abandoned Nightfort. Hodor notices a very deep
well, and Bran tells them a ghost story of the Rat Cook. Seems the
cook made the king a pie made of the king’s son. And the gods
cursed the cook by changing him into a rat who could only eat his own
children. He wasn’t punished for murder, Bran informs Meera and
Jojan, he was punished for harming a guest in his house. (Am I
mangling that story? My bad if I did.) It has a certain
relevance/foreshadowing charm to it, don’t ya think?
Later
that night, they hear someone coming up from the well. A cloaked
figure emerges, and Meera tackles it. Turns out it’s just Sam, with
Gilly close behind.
Reluctantly,
Sam shows Bran and the gang the secret tunnel entrance, and they
continue their trek north. He wishes Bran wouldn’t go, but he has
concerns of his own.
Sam
and Gilly make their way to Castle Black (finally!). Blind Maester
Aemon is troubled by Gilly and her child, which she wants to name
Sam. Book side note/rant: In the book, Gilly refuses to name the
child until he’s two. It’s tradition. Oh well.
Aemon
is even more troubled of the news of Wildings and White Walkers
approaching the Wall. He has send out a message to as many kingdoms
as he can.
Elsewhere,
Jon stops on his journey to Castle Black at a small pond. Ygritte
finds him, bow drawn. Jon calls her bluff that she won’t shoot him;
he loves her after all. Guess what? Not only does she shoot him, she
shoots him three fucking times.
Once in the shoulder, once in
the leg, and another in the arm. Can’t say you didn’t see that
coming, Jon. Or that you didn’t deserve it.
He
struggles, but finally makes it to Castle Black. He’s quickly taken
inside to have his wounds treated.
Theon—In
the latest installment of “What am I watching and why is this
happening?” Theon is still in the torture chamber, only he’s
minus his wang. Ramsay Snow eats a rather large sausage in front of
him.
When Theon pleads for death, Ramsay gets up real close and tells
him they have plans for the dickless wonder. Oh,and now his name is
“Reek” not Theon Greyjoy.
Meanwhile,
in the Iron Islands, Theon’s father, Balon, and sister, Yara,
receive a ransom note of sorts and Theon’s manhood in a chest.
Balon couldn’t care less, but Yara is steadfast in bringing her
brother home.
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| And looking pretty bad-ass while doing so, I think. |
Daenerys—She
stands outside the main gate into Yunkai with her entourage, waiting
to see what kind of greeting she should expect. A liberator? A
conqueror? An enemy?
The
freed slaves flood out of the gate en masse. After a while they start
chanting “Mhysa! Mhysa!” which Missandei informs Dany means
“mother.” As her dragons take flight, Dany wades into the crowd,
who pick her up and worship her.
Davos—Feeling
that killing a boy for a blood magic ritual is in bad taste, he helps
Gendry escape. The scene with the two of them with the boat is pretty
cute, actually.
Davos probably is feeling some major pangs of guilt
about his own son, who died on the Blackwater and was around Gendry’s
age.
Later,
Davos reads correspondence with Shireen (Stannis’ daughter) and
finds a troubling letter. A letter with a seal from the Night’s
Watch.
Stannis
finds out about the escape, and he’s ready to execute Davos, when
he shows him the letter. Both Davos and Melisandre agree that now is
the time to journey north.
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| Yeah, fuck it, the whole "take King's Landing" was a pipe dream. |
Okay,
let’s talk about this finale. It did not have the impact I was
hoping. Especially after the insanity that was last episode. The
season seemed to wrap on a dull note. It was more like they needed to
make sure they had plans in motion for the 4th season.
Which is fine, but man, was that boring or what? Hate to say it, but
they should have had the Red Wedding as the finale (it wouldn’t
have been that hard to rework some scenes for this episode), even
though that would have been a hell of a way to end a season.
Overall,
I thought this season was good. It just seems like there was clearly
better writing for some characters/storylines (Margaery, Olenna, Jon
Snow, Jamie, Brienne) and less so for others (Bran, Sam, even Dany to
a certain extent). It saddened me to watch some sub par stories play
out after loving them so much in the novel.
Expect
a whole slew of new characters next season, and of course a death or
two, some of which might not actually leave you in a vegetative state
for weeks! Again, if you’re still feeling the sting from this
season, take the hiatus to relax, recuperate, and by next April,
you’ll be refreshed and ready for more masochistic entertainment.
On
a completely unrelated note motherfucking TRUE BLOOD is back
next Sunday. So I’ll see you this time next week!
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