The Useless Critic 2.0

Wait, so Conan O'Brien didn't win an Emmy last night? I'm giving The Emmys one of these:

Modern Family won 6 Emmys! Who predicted that show would be a hit? ME!!! Gosh Darnit, I was right! Not to toot my own horn, but toot ta toot ta toot toot. QATFYG: Did you watch the Emmys? and PPS: If you have not seen Modern Family yet, it is worth watching.

As many of you know, I tried and tried to arrange a David Lee Roth interview at the beginning of the summer without so much success: I watched his " Just a Gigolo " video for probably the first time since 1987 this past May, was delighted, and decided I needed to talk to him about this. Sadly, my requests weren’t honored and I became confused, because, really?, has anyone really wanted to talk to him since his Crazy from the Heat follow-up, which I can’t remember the title of? Probably not. As for you, C.C. Deville? I may have hoped to use you as a half-hearted replacement, but can’t believe your publicist wasn’t even polite enough to respond! And I don’t feel motivated to look-up the dudes from King Diamond , which is just as well because I doubt they possess much in the way of a non-“mayhem / the devil / gash” vocabulary. Please don’t click that. Anyway, it wasn’t until several days ago upon coming across this article, Van Halen said to be working on new album with David L...

watch SOME VELVET MORNING, which is pretty trippy . and as is the video. Before there was Zooey and Matt or Dean and Britta or any of those other cute male-female duos that occupy important spaces in mainstream music (I guess it's arguable about that last pair), there was Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood . I feel it's criminal I overlooked them until my 20 th year of existence, when I listened to one of their albums on a whim after getting a job at my local zoo. It was a rainy May; I was stuck in the basement; the album was totally streamable on last. fm . (not so anymore!) This is a pair that's as American as baseball or apple pies. Kids should listen to their catalog in elementary school, along with the music of Woody Guthrie, Ke $ha and the Gershwins . If my parents had been more into music, I wish they would have made me listen to them as a small child. I think I would have loved Nancy and Lee as a toddler, as a kid, as an adolescent. Their music conjures up thoughts ...

Friendly Fires finally have a new song out!!!!!! I first heard them in 2008 with "Paris," the ultimate escapist track, which I still adore to this day. And then "On Board" And "Photobooth"- it's good Brit dance rock. Think Bloc Party, think Two Door Cinema Club, think Passion Pit BUT BETTER. and more English! so was I scared to hear their new song? was it like seeing my parents naked, which I have seen? umyes. "SUCK MY DECK" so they collaborated with these guys with Azari and III and this British DJ claims this is disco. but this is better than disco. judge for yourself: B+/A- it's rather arbituary.

It was Katrina, which devastated a portion of the American south. Question: in light of the recent oil spill, do you think the American south has been cursed or something? that poor region.

Colette Carr is basically doing Ke$ha-imprint talk-hop with too much autotune, too much glow-in-the-dark neon, and too much nihilistic sexuality. Unfortunately, she's also more attractive. I really hate to admit that. Naturally, I immediately downloaded her debut mixtape which is being offered freely on the Nick Cannon website. I'm only six songs deep, but it's exceeding my expectations out of pure catchiness despite obvious flaws, again, like Ke$ha. I know there are some posts about Katy Perry around here, but, listen, you would be making a mistake by listening to her album. I've never heard it, but I'm sure it's terrible. Look at pictures of her and move on. This is pop that doesn't ruin itself by needing to be something bigger than pop. I'm looking at you, second half of Lady Gaga's The Fame .