The Useless Critic 2.0

I'm watching Good Luck Charlie on youtube, and they blurred out the word on a sign, coming as in "coming soon to a theatre near you." Yeah those censors know what's best for America's youngins.

So some 20 year old apparently hacked into Sarah P's email account and revealed her personal information. David Kernell, otherwise known as the Red Herring, the Tomato of Evil, the Marinara Hackeranera. Now he is 22, and he is being charged and facing up to 50 yrs in jail. Does this sound excessive? I admit what he did was wrong, and he should be punished, however, this is something that should not lead to 50 years in jail or any jail time at all. For an issue like this, *reading someone's email and showing it to people.* He deserves probation and community service at the most. Because despite what Sarah says....There was no intent to harm her. He calls it simply a "College prank" and it is a little more serious than that, but divulging someone's personal email should not give you the sentence of 50 years or anything close to it. Think: there have been murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and arsonists whom have received less than 50 years in jail for their crimes. So ...

Glee is (still) hot stuff, And I just watched the Friday encore of the Madonna episode. AWESOME!!! However, I do admit when the Glee kids talk about their feelings, the episode was waning into a mess of sappppppp and cheese. Silly Fox network, Feelings are not important. The audience wants power, hilarity, belting high notes, and pizaaz! NOT emotional baggage you undermedicated fu*ks! QATFYG: Do you have a favorite Madonna song?

So I think I just bombed a french exam, but whatevs...since my mind is on French today, here are some French actors that have gained some fame. ;) Gerard Depardieu The King of French Cinema Daniel Auteuil Possibly the greatest man to come from French Algeria, Screw you Camus! Daniel stars in great films like "Le Placard," awesome flick! Julie Delpy Talented young individual, but I will forgive her for "Two Days in Paris." B O Ring And!!!! This random French comedian who messes around with with stereotypes, and is moderately funny. C'est tres amusant (pas vraiment). QATFYG: Do you have a favorite French or Belgian actor?

Justin and Jessica might be on a riff! Who gives a shit? This is one of the most pointless romances in the world. If you are going to be in a celebrity romance, at least be in an interesting one. I feel nothing for them! But on serious note: Demi Lovato will be on "Grey's Anatomy" May 13th!! NOW THIS is worth caring about!! QATFYG: Will you watch GA May 13th?

And I say this because I love Jane Lynch and find her hilarious, do I watch "Glee?" everyone seems to be coming about this show at the same time and I'm so confused....

Arguably the best and most expensive music festival there is, that I will ONE GLORIOUS DAY attend, Coachella, is this weekend in California. Acts playing this year: Beach House, MGMT (who I am so over!), The Cribs (or wait, stupid volcano), Jay-Z, LCD Soundsystem, Them Crooked Vultures, Grizzly Bear, Vampire Weekend, Gorillaz, Thom Yorke, Hockey, Pavement, Muse, Tiesto, Spoon, Hadouken! (I love that name), Mew, Sia, Dirty Projectors....I could go on but it will just make you sad. One year, one year. Maybe next year? We will play it by ear. I have been bad at updating and there are two things I MUST write about in the future. So I will try this weekend. Right now, it's 6 am. be gentle with me plz. I'm looking for a job and I'm graduating in less than a month. Yung Loc is playing Edinboro next Friday. yup. Music news you should be aware of: - She & Him have probably the best album of the year JUST SAYING - Hole put out a new album? - Kate Nash has a new album out too but...

So for the last three days, we've been having a "SKINS" marathon at my house, and all I can say is. I love British humor. QATFYG: Can anyone recommend another British show that is absolutely hilarious? I NEED MORE!

So for the past two days, I've been watching back-to-back-back episodes of Jerry Springer, and Steve Wilkos, talk shows that center around failed relationships. Here is what I've learned about relationships. 1. Don't date people with bizarre fetishes, that you do not agree with, and that abuse you. 2. Don't take them back after they leave you the first time. QATFYG: What is the weirdest fetish you'd put up?

I decided to play the band version of "fuck, marry, kill" with the line-up, because I have nothing better to do at the library today. just kidding, I have five papers to work on. Does someone want to pay for me to go Lollapalooza, btw? I will reward you handsomely with _____jobs. because I want to go so badly! fap fap fap. Green Day- KILL THE STROKES- FUCK FUCK FUCK Lady GaGa- marry (too dirty) Arcade Fire- fuck! MGMT- fuck! Soundgarden- marry, I'm not huge on them. AFI- ?!?!?! kill Spoon- fuck Metric- fuck (see: Emily Haines) Hot Chip- faukkkkkk Phoenix- FUCK! Wolfmother- marry, I saw them before, not bad! Cypress Hill- eh marry Stars- fuck Cut Copy- fuck The National- fuck Switchfoot- wow, what the fuck? no. KILL Grizzly Bear- fuck! my favorite band! Erykah Badu- fuck, she is quite ballsy. Digitalism- marry The Black Keys- marry The Cribs- fuck The New Pornographers- FUCK IT LIKE IT IS HOT The Walkmen- marry (not really a fan) Rogue Wave- marry (boring) Minus the Bear- ...

Ok, I am watching LOST right now, and I just caught the preview for the ABC new show, "Happytown." First thought, I am so tired that it looks good. But second thought, this looks like a show that will involve a lot of interesting ideas, but I don't think it will be a successful show. It just looks like something that won't sell with the mass audiences. However, I am the worst prophet in the history of television prophetizing. This is a show that will tell the story of a criminal called "The Magic Man." Sounds scary. But he's called that because he makes people disappear. I just don't see this catching on. QATFYG: How much do you trust ABC with their dramas?

Here's what happened!! SHE GOT OLD!! I saw the poster for her latest crappy flick, and she looks so OLD!! Lizzie has lost her charm; therefore, there is no Lizzie anymore. QATFYG: Is she beyond her prime already? PS: the photo from google images is titled Hilary Duff Papoos Hot Dog. Werd.

"Date Night" opens next Friday. On paper, it's a comedic dream team. Tina Fey. Steve Carell. but yet, when I finally caught the trailer, I was surprised because it did nothing for me: It also stars Mark Wahlberg, James Franco and OH MY GOD MILA KUNIS. but yeah, I would say it's less than I expected. still somewhat funny (in the middle, at least- "I don't want the kids to live with your mother!!!!") what do you think? also, the iPad was opened to the public to BUY BUY BUY today in New York City. some people waited for days to purchae the thing. I will not be able til afford this until 2013 and then it will be the less superior version which I will somehow manage to break. do you give a shit? y/n/maybe and also: HAPPY EASTER!

In high school, a lot of my friends were obsessed with Beck. And I liked Beck, in passing. But I never got that into him. Sea Change is a fantastic record, don't get me wrong. Something just kept me an elbow away from becoming a true Beck fan. Gradually, though, that's been shifting in the other direction. The more I think about it, the more respect I have for this Scientologist! First of all, his career. EXTENSIVE. think back to "Loser!" WHAT: He's gone onto work with the likes of Danger Mouse and Serge Gainsbourg. and, you know, like Madonna or David Bowie, he's constantly evolving. He's trying to keep things interesting. Not sure if I really care for his latter stuff, but at least he's giving it a shot. Anyway, he has this record club that consists of him and various guests doing covers of notable tracks/albums, such as the Velvet Underground's banana album (haha). Well, he just put out a rip of him doing "New Sensation" by INXS !!!! ...

recently, we've learned the true sexual orientations of the following: Ricky Martin (GAY) meh Alison Goldfrapp & Anna Pacquin (bi) AW HELL YEAHZ but undecided:

our last post was a joke! (in case you, you know, believed it and stuff). you see any good jokes? I guess Google was a big deal. Topeka, ha. I didn't. Gwen's the waitress here!

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES, REAL PRESSING NEWS A lot of buzz has been surrounding Sandra Bullock after she won the Academy Award for “The Blind Side.” But not in the best light. In many interviews, Sandra stated that her husband “Jesse James” was the most wonderful man in the world, But shortly after winning the award, it was made public that James was a cheating bonehead, leaving his angel, Sandra in humiliation. However, it appears Sandra wasn’t a clean-hearted after all. During an interview with Barbara Walters, an intern on the ABC set, noticed something sticking out of Sandra’s bag, which was left unattended. Inside, was a pack of photographs held together with a rubber band. In curiosity, the anonymous intern flipped through the pictures, and found shots of a giant Canadian Moose! Then, things get weirder. Photos of Sandra Bullock were found in the bag wearing nothing but a lace bra and that’s it! She was also positioned on her knees waiting to receive the moose’s fortitude. Her h...