The Useless Critic 2.0

Today I received a "Happy Three Year Anniversary," card...  from my tanning salo n. Her e's to you  artificial sunlight , the longest relationship I've ever had . 

Song of the Day It could only get more Swedish if they sang in Svenska. By the way, click on the label "Song of the Day" to get a great collection of songs from this past year! 

Instead of recapping everything in a "best of" list (BECAUSE I ALREADY DID THAT WITH MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST) here are just some songs you should have heard this year and appreciated. Note the curious absence of "Call Me Maybe." "I'm His Girl"- Friends did this appear on an episode of "Girls?" It should have. "Ritual"- Ellie Goulding It was our own writer Irina who turned me onto this song. It's very sexual, which is not something you would expect from "I Sang At the Royal Wedding" Ellie Goulding. "Florida"- Princeton We interviewed them ages ago. What a refreshing little song this is. "Comeback Kid"- Sleigh Bells Is it weird I find this song inspiring? Also, it's a good song to kick ass to. "Wicked Games"- The Weeknd Uh, wow? "Tides"- The Xx This album is amazing. Not much of a difference from their debut, but. Who cares? Their debut was g...

I've been posting a lot of stuff about the Brooklyn band E4RTH lately. Why? Well, they are interesting. And they are pretty good. And I don't need any other reasons. Thus, I decided to do the logical next step: to interview them. The last Useless Critic Interview of 2012. May 2013 be filled with many more! There is also something to be said for both honesty and brevity. Ahem.  UC: How did you celebrate the End of the World? E: Mostly checking our phones to see what people thought of the new track. UC: How's the reception been for your R.E.M cover? E: Pretty good! A lot of people talking about it and a few who seem genuinely offended. (it happens. as long as it wasn't Michael Stipe...) UC: What do you have going on at the moment? What are your newest projects? E: This week we're doing a video for HEX4GONAL, a mixtape called "The Game Of Life," a new track called "Ashey Feet" featuring Lurrell Low, and 2 x 2 Chainz bootlegs.  Al...

Song of the Day Hands down, my favorite song of 2012. I  debated about this a lot but I can't get enough of this song. Say what you will, but I personally can't get enough of this song. "HELLO? HELLO?" I want to make a video to it of her in a mansion in a mink coat looking like she always does. Seriously, call me up Lana! :D

Enjoy it, kids! And perhaps consider making a donation to one of the fine charities listed here .  I was thinking of N*Sync when it came to this title, btw. 

I've been putting this off since March. So let's do this! I'm on vacation and that means the UC comes first for a few days. And family, I think. shut up Norman Rockwell.  you sassy bastard. Getting back to the task at hand, has there been anyone as vitriolic as Dorothy Parker? No. Never, and never again. Pippa Middleton can only dream of this! ... MY HERO. and you know, she did a lot for civil rights as well! Miss Parker is perhaps best remembered for her wit. I say that like I know her. Ha! She died in 1967 and I was born in 1988 so you do the math, buster.  Anyway, without further adieu, I present to you.... NINE OF HER BEST QUOTES! 9.) If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. I believe this happened several times. 8.) She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. - about Katharine Hepburn 7.)  I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. Someday,...

Song of the Day Today is Liz's birthday! I have known Liz for what feels like a lifetime. I was so happy we started speaking again last year. I sat on a stoop in Brooklyn and honestly, I remember regretting the fact I had fallen out of touch with her. But then she wrote to me within like a month- weird how that works out- and we began the slow process of renewing our friendship. Which has been a great experience. Because then I moved to Phoenix and lived on her couch for a while. And I've seen her fulfill one of her biggest dreams these past ten months and I can't think of another more talented person who deserves it more. Liz is an amazing girl. And one of the best friends I have ever had. Happy birthday! Here's a song to celebrate like you were Gwyneth Paltrow.  p.s. it may be too many astericks but I didn't want to take ANY chances.

I've updated "Be Useful" in reflection of last week's tragedies in Newtown.  I copied and pasted it, but here it is regardless. Also: it will be on the "Be Useful" page likely until February. See the PAGE for more info.  Be Useful is devoted to the Newtown Tragedy for the next month or so, and ways you can help those affected. I'm sure you've seen a few by now, but it's such a huge cause. And I'd like to do what I can and you're probably the same way. Here are some ideas. I hope you can use them, and I hope they really DO help, on some level: http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/index.php    http://newtownmemorialfund.org/ https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=4993    https://newtown.uwwesternct.org//    https://www.facebook.com/FriendsOfTheEngelFamilyFund   http://www.crowdrise.com/SHSRelief  Here is a list of more sites that can lead you to additional ways to help: http://www.huffi...

Song of the Day Check this out, should you like the 1980s: Good visuals, good song. Discover more about Los Angeles-based Story of the Running Wolf here . 

Last year, it was May 2011. Before that, it was Y2K. Then, someone had once told me it was 1996. I kid you not: I hid under my stairs for an hour waiting for it. BOOM! This year, I don't even care. If the world ends, whatever. I think I would have been more concerned if this year hadn't been so full of hate and violence. From the tragic-beyond-words shooting in Newtown last week to the near-assassination of a little girl activist in Pakistan, I've become numb to these vague and somewhat cheesy concepts. I'm sure I'm not alone. I've been personally hoping we'd experience some kind of spiritual awakening today, but thus far, my interactions with people haven't proved this.  I hope you haven't bought into this hype. There will always be such scares. Humans have a need for mass hysteria. We always have. I wish we could somehow take the energy directed toward such things and use it to solve the (likely) preventable problems among ourselves. ...

Max and Caroline have booked the first private party in their cupcake shop. "You said it was a private party, and this is a party I keep near my privates," Max says as she drinks from a flask. Caroline is so excited she decides to do some white-girl dance. "That's the exact same dance you did when the Humane Society sent you free puppy address labels," Max recalls. Turns out it's a children's party, where Max and Caroline are wearing the same cupcake costumes from last episode, while the children are screaming and throwing food around. Caroline tells them to quiet down, but instead, a girl smears Caroline's face with icing and everyone laughs, including Max. A boy smears Max's face too, and she does the same thing back to him. "It's weird how sex is so great, and yet, it makes these ," Max points out. True dat. Andy walks into the diner with a box of candy canes. He asks if there's a problem with their shop, because the lan...

Song of the Day Ursula, I hope you like this Joni Mitchell cover!

  Looks HILARIOUS.

This weekend, I was supposed to make my way to Arizona to hang with the UC’s own Brittany and party like the world was ending. Long story short, the lovely (but not really) people at US Air were so unforgivably rude in their refusal to let me on the plane, despite me getting there well within time, I had a terrible panic attack/breakdown. Needless to say, I did not get to join my friends in AZ. And now I have to review this stinker of an episode. You have no idea how happy I am this season is over. Let’s see, in this episode, character’s storylines are woefully written, and we’re treated to some pointless flashbacks. Oh, and it’s Milla Jovovich’s birthday today, which means it’s my birthday, too! Coincidence? Well, yes, most certainly. But it is cool. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MILLA AND ME

Dear Mr. President,  I do not claim to be unique. I do not claim to be any different than the 314 million other residents of the United States. I know my thoughts and opinions are not one-of-a-kind, and that countless others share them. The statements expressed in this article have been and will be repeated for generations and generations to come.  Today 20 school children, many under the age of 7, were gunned down in their class room.   A school, meant to foster growth, to promote education, and to shape young minds was violated in the most heinous of ways. As I listen to the new coverage a recurring theme occurs:       “What can we learn from this shooting?”       “What we can take away from this?”        “How does this resemble the attack in," Another year...             “The gunman was," Another age. Another N...