The Useless Critic 2.0

It's sad that Erie can't seem to keep a good, worthwhile thing alive for the arts. The Last Wordsmith Shoppe offered some really cool and interesting programs during its 1.5 years in North East and it makes me kind of depressed to realize it will not be offering those to the public anymore. It was such a cool thing for the area. Respect to the people who started and ran it. You really did an awesome job.

....when we give more thought to the fashion than the music, then there is a problem.

It occurred to me earlier that we didn't officially acknowledge the absolutely mind-shattering fact WE HAVE BEEN IN EXISTENCE FOR A YEAR, OMG. So with that, I would like to say, to all our readers, loyal or otherwise: thank you. We love you. I remember when this was just a dream my freshman year- when I would walk around my dorm late at night and wonder, could I one day have a music blog? Would people read it? Um, of course it's not that much of a music blog, but you know... so dreams become reality. With that being said: Something great to wake up to for my fellow residents of western Pennsylvania: http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/22384354/detail.html I can just imagine: my first jury duty notice. "BRITTANY, HAVE FUN IN THE 911 TRIAL." Que es??? I'm actually anticipating the day I get that slip in the mail. I wouldn't mind at all. Read that, government? WHY YOU NOT SEND ME JURY DUTY? I also like how Bin Laden blamed the United States for the climate...

Totally old news, but it's friggin important... So this is not my original idea at all, I forget where I first read it, or else I'd cite the source. But take Rush Limbaugh.....with a little more hair in a retro-style... Add an ugly mustache.... And you have a perfect John Wayne Gacy. I just can't get over it. The resemblance is too weird. Imagine JWG as a radio host? QATFYG: Do you see the light? What would JWG's radio show be called? PS: Whether you like Rush of not, I think he looks like JWG. This isn't opinion. "It's science, and science is a cold-hearted 14-inch strap on."-CS Lee Masuka.

That was a request. What's your favorite Salinger work? Franny and Zooey ? Everyone loves that one. I've only read the Catcher In the Rye. When I was ten. the library looked at me with disdain when I got it out. I believe it deflowered me.

I have to admit, I'm not a huge fan of Marina and the Diamonds' single "Hollywood." It's a little trite, a little more trashy than I'd grown to expect from Marina. ("Obsessions" was one of the best songs of 2009. Or 2008? Whatever.) However... Marina just released a new orchestral version of it on Youtube. It's absolutely AMAZING. I'm basically blown away. The bitch is back! Click here to hear the original.

So tonight.... Finally... I have "Inglorious Bastards" on DVD, and I am going to check out the latest from Tarantino. Christoph Waltz is on fire during this award season for his performance in IG, winning the Globe and the Actor for Best Supporting Actor. Not to mention the film won "Best Ensemble" at the SAG Awards. I am like...so excited! QATFYG: What is Tarantino's best film? And of course, APGZs for the lack of visuals. Technical difficulties and such.

So I'm quickly falling in love with this Irish song "The Foggy Dew," which was made popular by Luke Kelly. And then, made popular once again by Sinead O'Connor and the Chieftains. I like Luke Kelly's version better because he captures the moment with his dramatic vocals, and I've always felt the best Irish songs are the strong, accented, dramatic ones. Yeats would be proud. The Foggy Dew As down the glen one Easter morn to a city fair rode I There Armed lines of marching men in squadrons passed me by No fife did hum nor battle drum did sound it's dread tatoo But the Angelus bell o'er the Liffey swell rang out through the foggy dew Right proudly high over Dublin Town they hung out the flag of war 'Twas better to die 'neath an Irish sky than at Sulva or Sud El Bar And from the plains of Royal Meath strong men came hurrying through While Britannia's Huns, with their long range guns sailed in through the foggy dew 'Twas Britannia bade our W...

So I happen to catch my first two episodes of the “Vampire Diaries” this weekend, and I was not impressed. I did not like much about it at all, but I might keep watching it just to see if it gets better. It’s early on in the series, so not much is happening with the plot, and right now it seems flat and uninteresting. It looks like it has potential, but the first the episodes I saw were rather boring. I think I’ll have to go with my original hunch and make “True Blood” my vampire show. They had only two good things I noticed. 1. The Diary/Epistolary form of storytelling 2. Ian Somerhalder. After seeing Ian S. in other works, it was nice to see him play around with his acting range. He did really well. And it was also nice to see him play someone that wasn’t a sissy. On the show “Lost” he gave a good performance, but he was the guy that everybody told to “Shut Up!” and got beat up all the time. Moving back in time, he played the title/lead role in “Marco Polo.” From the pictures, it lo...

- New Beach House. - New Spoon. - New Surfer Blood. of the above, what is the best? O_O also, isn't the Coachella line-up pretty swell? THE WHITE STRIPES? SIGUR ROS? OMG WHO WANTS TO TAKE ME THERE

Mass romantic fool, separated by sheets When the curtain calls you speaking On the themes of stolen virtue missing from the radio, radio Now this romantic duel is into the streets Bon appetit, you've eaten me alive you realize This is not the way In the streetlight dawn This beat turns on This boy's life among the electrical lights. "Mass Romantic" - New Pornographers I would argue A.C. Newman is one of the best singer-songwriters out there. like, Brian Wilson good. the end. and Neko should sing on EVERY song. they have a new album coming out. woooooooooo

Celebs that surprise us with their singing abilities that they chose to keep hidden from the populations. He Kexin Olympic Gold Medalist, who apparently ages really well. I want her moisturizer. Since winning multiple golds in Beijing she has been performing on talk shows during interviews and such. She really has a good voice. No joke. He Kexin Sings He Kexin Shows Skill Brad Garrett This is a half-serious nod. Brad dazzles as he sings song and dance numbers for 7up commercials. Not a trained voice, but if I heard more of it I might get into it, no joke. Kamala Former WWE star turned to the microphone. Kamala once held the appearance of a warrior, and now he shows his softer side on the record. And of course John Ashcroft “Let The Eagle Soar” No visuals for this guy. QATFYG: Who is your top hidden vocal talent?

I've been pretty busy with school and moving lately so I apologize for my lack of postings... I think it will continue like this for a while though. And also not having internet at my apartment plays a huge role, obviously. With that being said, I signed up for a modernist poetry class that Cara dropped ( :P ) but I'm quite excited for. Like- this is the kind of class I've dreamt of taking all my life, you know what I'm saying? I'm unfamiliar with most of the poets we're learning, but that presents to me the kind of challenge that I like. besides this and my resolved I'm-not-getting-worked-up-about-shit-I-don't-truly-care-for poicy, Spring 2010 may prove to be a good time, after all. Anyway, one of the poets that's on the agenda is one of my favorites, Federico Garcia Lorca, who was also an accomplished dramatist as well as poet and one of the best Spanish literary voices of all time. He wrote a few collections of poetry that brought him attention in...

Former presidential candidate, John Edwards, admits to having an illegitimate child during an affair. I know his business is his business, but this man is too low. He cheated on his wife, while she had cancer, which cost him a chance to be Vice-President under Obama, and now he brought another life into the world under the shadows of scandal. His daughter is going to have to grow up dealing with this her whole life. No respect.

So if you have been near an ABC station over the past few days, you must have noticed the hundreds of previews for the show, "The Deep End," about some top grad lawyers, who are just starting out in the world. One of the principle roles is played by Matt Long, the star of other projects such as "Jack and Bobby," and the 2009 film "Homecoming." He kind of annoyed me on "J and B," but he didn't exactly do a bad job. It was just annoying. I cannot wait to see "Homecoming," where he plays the lover of both Mischa Barton and Jessica Stroup. I adore Jessica Stroup because of her screen presence and nonchalence. Mischa Barton is not so adorable anymore, but all the OC memories would flood back. So "The Deep End" looks decent, and it is definitely worth checking out. I just hope that it can compete with the other giants of the Thursday 8Pm spot. "The Deep End" airs this week, Thurs 8/7 Central on ABC. Good Luck Matt Long...

1. Ricky Gervais had some decent jokes, others were dumb and distasteful (I never thought I would ever say that word.) 2. "Avatar" won best picture/drama and James Cameron best director. I confess I didn't see that coming. That better be one Orgasmic movie. It's weird because I thought they just made a movie called "Avatar:The Last Airbender" based on the cartoon show and directed by M. Night Shamalyan. (spelling doesn't count.) 3. "Dexter" won two globes, one going to my idol, Michael C. Hall, and one to the legend John Lithgow. This made my night. "Dexter" is so good, no joke. 4. "Mad Men" won another award or something, and I don't think anyone thought twice about it. 5. Lea Michele did not win for "Glee" as best actress in a comedy series, sad face, but Toni Collette won for "The United States of Tara!" I heard this show described as something nobody watches, but it's amazing. I have to see it...

So before the recaps of the Globes, I happened to notice the preview for the new season of the apprentice. It is loaded with famous people such as Sinbad, Rod Blago, Brett Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, and then I saw Maria Kanellis........star of the Kiss Cam segment on WWE. In her other credits, I think she came from their Diva Search contest or something, but it's hard to remember that far back. And of course she did Playboy. Big surprise. (Little known fact: Maria K plays the drums). But I wonder who seems out of place on this glam apprentice season.?.?.?. At least the rest of the celebs on celeb apprentice are actually recognizable, but Maria K is barely even famous. Although, most of the cast is untalented, they are somewhat well-known. I want to know. How much does America love Maria K? QATFYG: Are you a Maira Kanellis fan? Or is her existence a question mark in your memories? PS: I still won't watch the Apprentice, not worth it.

So on another website, I pretend to be an inhabitant of Antarctica. (Brittany can confirm this.) And one day I found this site promoting Antarctica's wonderful university. "The University of Antarctica." or simply "Antarctica University." Is this site legit? No. But this site is actually rather humorous, if you like cold things in the south and you like giggling then this site is for you. Plus, whoever made it put a lot of effort into it. Entertainment at its most random moment! I particularly love the part on the endangered aborigines in Antarctica, which is quite a neglected part of human life. double wink. http://antarcticaedu.com/about.htm But more importantly, if anyone is interested there is a small church on the cold cold Island of South Georgia (close to South America I guess.)And yes they still perform weddings there. Anybody need a husband? Cool Shack! QATFYG: Would you get married in South Georgia? Or would you rather run off to Antarctica to elope o...

Which wasn't as terrible as the critics would like you to believe. I'll probably see it again at the dollar theater so I can get a better feel for it- it was a bit hard to follow at times and didn't come together quite as well, quite as tightly as, say, Chicago . That being said, the highlights of the film were, without a doubt: - Kate Hudson, holy shit. "Cinema Italiano" was probably the highest point. - Fergie, who like, took on a totally new dimension for me...I have more respect for her now, knowing how talented she was. - Sophia Loren. FIERCE. - Nicole Kidman, who I kept forgetting was even in this film- a small part, but I think she excels at it. her big song "Unusual Way" was gorgeous. - Penelope Cruz = hot hot hot. suck it. - MARION COTILLARD STOLE MY HEART AND BROKE IT. The scene where she shows up for the screen tests? omg. all in all....much better on stage, but just because it's mostly psychological doesn't make it bad. B-

Freelance Whales is my current music obsession. They're sort of experimental folk-pop. Every song is joyous and uplifting, even when it's about death and dying. The lyrics are catchy, the music is ethereal and beautiful - I don't even know how to explain it. They remind me of a sort of mash-up of The Boy Least Likely To, The Arcade Fire, and Beirut. Check 'em out! Generator ^ First Floor And in our native language we are chanting ancient songs And when we quiet down the house chants on without us Generator ^ Second Floor So as you pull me from the bed Tell me I look stunning and cadaverous

As you all probably know by this point, there was a huge earthquake in the poorest country on the nation, Haiti. (which makes you wonder about things like nature and fate- WTF? can't they get a break?) Over 100,000 are reported to be dead/missing. Now typically I try to focus on music and literature and nice alternatives to the bleakness of everyday life (really that's how I see it) but I can't really like, let this go by without posting this: http://www.google.com/relief/haitiearthquake/#utm_campaign=en&utm_source=en-ha-na-us-sk&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=haiti%20humanitarian Google collected shortcuts to all these various charities that are helping with the victims in this situation. It makes it easy to donate money, fast. Barack Obama has done a nice job of reacting swiftly. his speech yesterday, I think, was one of his best by far. And also, this tragic event gave Pat Robertson a big chance to exercise his anus. Oops I meant mouth! keep Haiti in your thoughts an...

Actor Michael C. Hall, star of the hit show, "Dexter" has publically revealed that he has been diagnosed and fighting with cancer for some time now. Hall was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, but in a turn of hope, he is on track to make a full recovery and the cancer is going into remission. Hang in there Michael. We wish you the best.

Asalaam wa’laykum. So this is a face that can be seen on the television show, “Lost.” Naveen Andrews has made his way to fame and critical acclaim (that rhymed) with his performance on “Lost” as Sayid Jarrah, a former Iraqi Soldier in the Republican Guard. It was not until these past 2 weeks that I had ever seen the show “Lost,” and I have been missing out for the last 5 years. If I had seen it more recently, it would have made it onto my list as one of the top ten shows of the decade. Lost masters the cliffhangers probably better than any other show out there. Naveen A. is sitting as the spotlight/shoutout king of the week because of intricate ways he portrays his character. Although, he is not of Middle Eastern decent (he’s South Asian Indian) he plays an Iraqi who is not made out to be a villain. In fact, he is a hero. And at this time in history, the Iraqi people need more positive imagery in the public media. Sayeed Jarrah, although fictional, is an inspiration. Naveen's perfo...

Passion Pit has announced dates in the region for both Cleveland and Buffalo. Buffalo- March 28 Cleveland- March 30 Tickets are $17. Hoo ha! And then Allegheny announced two shows for the upcoming spring: Surfer Blood- March 8 Le Loup- March 13 further proof I should have gone there!

Seabird is a Christian band (yes, Christian) from Kentucky that specializes in powerpop. this being said, I feel like "Don't You Know You're Beautiful" has the potential to become quite the hit. It's catchy and positive enough and it's really, really grow on me: Worth a listen....even if it is a Christian band. which typically means: they suck.

My favorite couple EVAR, Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood, have proclaimed their undying love for each other and decided to get engaged. This, hot on the tails of Katy Perry and Russell Brand's engagement. THEY MUST ONE-UP EACH OTHER TIL THE DEATH. I don't know if you guys remember Marilyn saying, cough, he entertained “fantasies every day about smashing [Wood’s] skull in with a sledgehammer.” O_O I wish them many years of happiness. poll: in the wake of all these meant-to-be engagements, will I die alone?

I know this is a fairly old song (released in what, 2008/2009?), but Australian electronic duo Empire of the Sun's Walking On A Dream is on constant replay for me right now. The music is evocative, electronic but not overwhelmingly so; the lyrics, which describe how it feels to be in love - at least while you're having sex - are beautiful. This is undoubtedly one of the best songs of 2009. Or 2008. Whatever. We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it On and on and on we are calling out and out again Never looking down I'm just in awe of what's in front of me

Elvis Presley, who is dead, and therefore cannot celebrate his birthday: I know a lot of people like to hate on Elvis, but come on, you can't deny his impact on popular culture. and he was talented. I'm not a huge fan, but I give him respect. Jenny Lewis, who is, well, ERJKELKJRKELJRKLEJREKR yeah I LOVE YOU: I love the comments on that video, haha. And David Bowie, who has gotten progressively less weird through the years: I like him more than Elvis.

Jay Leno is an asshole.

Yes! A recurrence in this long-dormant series. Ha, ha, ha. Enjoy it, fookers . This may come as an offbeat choice, and it is. But between her accent and her personage and she likes dogs so much omfg !!!! Have you ever WATCHED this show? It's oddly addicting...my sophomore year I went through a period where this was pretty much the only thing I watched on TV. what a great moment (series of moments). It's starting up for it's next season......don't you want to watch people that shouldn't own dogs trying to figure out why Fido keeps shitting in the bathtub? "NO! I just let him when he was a puppy! Why won't he STOP!" well, watch for Victoria, at least *cue porn music*

I know! I haven't posted poetry in forever! Sigh. having a class in it will do that to you, you know. Anyway, this is Karin Boye, a poet from Sweden who has been dead for a very long time. Jason introduced me to her in high school a la Nanook of the North, who have a song about her grave. (sweet little band, check them out) She was a lesbian poet that committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills and sitting on a boulder in 1941. She did a lot more that poetry- for example, she's the reason most of T.S. Eliot's work is available in Swedish- but that's what people remember her most for. Including this piece, which is called "Ja visst gör det ont," which is translated to "Yes, of course it hurts": Of course it hurts when buds burst. Otherwise why would spring hesitate? Why would all our fervent longing be bound in the frozen bitter haze? The bud was the casing all winter. What is this new thing, which consumes and bursts? Of course it hurts when bud...

So this is a face that many will recognize as that guy from “The Office”, or that guy from “Away We Go,” and apparently he is also in “It’s Complicated,” not that I want to see that. But none of that is important today, and John Krasinski is earning the first s/s of the New Year for his work on “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.” This movie will be available on DVD in February, and I am so excited to see it. Krasisnski directed, starred, and adapted the screenplay for this film. It’s based on the writings of the late “David Foster Wallace,” who had a lot of stuff going on in his mind. Big surprise. The movie will tell the tale of a grad student who copes with a break-up by interviewing other people………….such as British sex symbol, Dominic Cooper. (Wink) And “Law and Order: SVU’s” Caucasian badass, Christopher Meloni. (Btw Meloni is a Sardinian name.) The reviews for John Krasinski’s film have not been super positive, but I will go into it with an open mind. He has a great cast, includi...

WILCO just announced (WILCOOOOOO) that they will be hitting up Pittsburgh in April on the 11th. Now for me that's a pretty big deal. I'd put them up in like, near-Radiohead territory. I WANT to see that so hard. for reals. The Antlers will be playing in Akron come January 30th. Tickets are like 11 dollars. Hospice was Amazon's pick for the year! yeahhhhhhh. In February, Sondre Lerche will be in Pittsburgh on February 26th at the Club Cafe. he's very good live, worth a view if you haven't already! JBM will be opening again. Another performer that's very worth a trip to see is ST. VINCENT, who will be at Pittsburgh on Feb. 21, a Sunday. God. she's so like- mesmerizing live. she made me a big fan after witnessing her all-too-brief opening bit for Andrew Bird. Irish group The Guggenheim Grotto will be in Pittsburgh March 3. They're pretty up-and-coming and if you're a fan of Damien Rice or the like, you might appreciate them. WATCH NOW Then you have vet...

Thora Birch is awesome!! All you h8tas better recognize. Respect. word up bitches!! QATFYG: Any problems wit dat?

So tonight in a few minutes is the premiere of ABC Family's 2 most popular shows. At 8pm is "The Secret Life of Teenager." I have stated in the past that I watch this show; however, it is not for its quality. The show is so boring, but I keep coming back. At least the previews make me want to find out what happens. The show is chee-z and fake. For the most part it's really annoying, but I've been watching it for so long I want to know what happens. Oh and I know she had the baby, and the pic is out of date, but whatever. Not much has happened to Shailene's life since she lost all that weight. More importantly, At 9pm is "Make It, Or Break It," with its second season premiere. I love this show. It might look a little girlie, being about female gymnasts and dating boys, but it is really good. I love the character dynamic of the leads and for a teen show it is very well written. Not to mention the four lead actresses were perfectly cast. Ayla Kell who ...

so the day is closing upon us when we will have to deal with a squealing Kathy Lee Gifford talk about how much she simply adores winter sports and awkwardly hit on professional skiirs. That being said, the 2010 Winter Olympics, which are being held in Vancouver, will kick off on in early February. And THAT being said, do you care? ... I personally like bobsledding and speedskating. but I so long for snow-shovelling, facesitting and bodyshaving to be made into recognized sports. I think Denmark and Japan would succeed at the latter two. What say you, readers? You going to watch? Or merely facesit instead?

Ever want to have Paris Hilton pump your gas? And just as it implies? Not some weird sexual metaphor? Me too! CBS has this reality series, I Get That A Lot , which I'm quite curious on seeing. It places celebrities i.e. Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg in everyday situations- working menial jobs, where you'd never guess to see them- and films people's reactions to it. I think it's kind of genius. The first episode showed the world the Subway guy, Jared, actually working at a Subway. TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH. Jessica Simpson works as a computer technician here: According to the wise folks at Wikipedia: The second episode airs on CBS January 6, 2010 at 8:00 PM. Participants include KISS guitarist Gene Simmons working as a psychic guru, socialite Paris Hilton working as a gas station attendant, Big Brother and The Early Show host Julie Chen working at a yogurt shop, skater Tony Hawk working at a surf shop, hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg taking on the role as a parking lot attendant, and c...

that was the shortest facebook hiatus ever. :/ YOU TRY IT SOME TIME.

Hey everybody- Adam already welcomed you guys to 2010! I know, I was busy being hungover for the majority of today to be of much use. I could have been really cliché and posted Death Cab For Cutie or U2, BUT I FELT LIKE THIS ONE REQUIRED MORE EFFORT. I deleted my facebook, mostly because it has been sucking my time out lately- the amount of hours I spend on that website is unhealthy! and plus I'm already a huge social media whore, but the thing is I'm going to put it back up in like, hopefully, a week. will I last that long? WILL MY EXPERIMENT OF A LIFE WITHOUT FACEBOOK (BLEAK AND MEANINGLESS) FAIL? stay tuned..... (a few people have already noted my absence with horror, sniff). plus personal stuff. u kno. I want to get stuff done, which is something I keep saying yet never do. Also, I read Vogue today, all of it, having nothing better to do. I will see Sherlock Holmes now that I am aware of Rachel McAdams' part in the thing. love that classy bitch. reinvigorated me for the...

Happy New Year everyone! It's been 17 hours since we burst into the new year here in Korea, and the first song someone played for me was "Auld Lang Syne" by the Beach Boys. (Really shitty version, I don't recommend it.) The first song I played for myself in 2010 was Paris is Burning by Ladyhawke: I love the song and I wanted to get up and dance. That's as good a reason as any, I think! What's the first song you played in 2010? Why did you choose it?